How to Deal with a Family Crisis on the Other Side of the Country

A few years later, dad had heart surgery and didn’t tell any of us until afterward. We were not pleased, but now that the anger has subsided, I think I understand. He probably figured that if the surgery went well we’d all either be too happy to get mad or too worried about upsetting him in his delicate state to give him to hard a time. On the other hand, if the surgery went badly, telling us about it wouldn’t be his problem.

There’s a certain grim wisdom in that, which is the kind of wisdom my father specializes in.

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