How to Tell Your Friends About Your Embarrassing Health Issues

Yes, for a while I had warts on the bottom of one foot. They are all gone now, cured by medical science (and acid and knives, used scientifically). I have a very good idea of where I got them and when but the story is both disgusting and boring, so instead I will claim that I was challenged to a barefoot kickboxing match with the local champion, “Warty” McGee.

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