How to Explain Your Profound Personal Triumph

The only details I left out of the meal plan described above are that I would cut open the box and turn it inside out so that the hot pizza wasn’t resting on the waxed, potentially dirty outer surface of the box, and that I timed the cooking so that the pizza would be ready for me to eat as I watched the nightly Simpsons rerun.

I’ll describe my home at the time so you can get the full picture of an evening at twenty-something Scott Meyer’s bachelor pad. We’re talking about a one-bedroom apartment with bare walls, a rickety desk, a single white resin chair, a TV on a small stand, a futon used as a couch, and in the bedroom, a slightly newer futon used as a bed.

Missy described my apartment as “spartan.”

I think she married me in an effort to rescue me. All in all, it wasn’t a bad strategy on my part.

Note from Missy: As they say on the home improvement shows, he had good bones. I don’t think Scott was a total gut job, but the pink tile and peeling wallpaper had to go. 🤣

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