How to Make a Joint Decision

Certain people I know think they’re too good to eat at a buffet. They say they’d rather eat “somewhere nice.” To them I say that I’ve seen these so called “nice places,” and I would like to know how nice they can possibly if they don’t have a sneeze guard.

I mean, sure, the decor might be fancier, and your dinner hasn’t been sitting under a heat lamp like a newborn lamb in a pen, and everything’s brought to you by an attentive server without you having to wait in a line, but what guarantee do I have that my food hasn’t been sneezed on?

If I can’t see a sneeze guard with my own eyes, I have to assume that my food has been sneezed on, and I ask you, how nice is that?

Note from Missy: King’s Spork! I wonder if King’s Table or Royal Fork are still in business. Here in Phoenix the big name in buffets is Golden Corral, which sounds less like I’m having an elegant spread fit for royalty, and more like I’m a hog being lead to a trough.  Which … hmmm, that’s pretty apt.

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