Happy Thanksgiving (Yes, it's August. This is when it came up, okay?!)

I said it in kindergarten, and have repeated it every year since. TURKEYS DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT! If you saw any living creature that looked remotely like that abomination, you’d run screaming into the night. You certainly wouldn’t want to eat it.

Imagine how disturbing Thanksgiving would be if turkeys looked like that. Kids shouting, “I get one of the giant fingerlike growths on its back!”

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