How to Express Admiration

Not to mention the subterranean city hidden beneath the Magic Kingdom.

I once had two middle-aged men walk up to me while I was working in one of the parks and ask me to solve an argument for them. One of the men said that he had heard there was an extensive tunnel system under the Magic Kingdom.

The other guy said, “No, there isn’t.”

I said, “There is.”

The first guy said, “I told you.”

The second guy said, “No, there isn’t.”

I said, “I’ve been in it, more than once.”

The second guy said, “You’re lying.”

I don’t have a lot of faith left in mankind’s ability to settle our differences.

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How to Be Patient

At my old office job, there was a honcho from corporate who would come in every now and then to settle someone’s hash. I found it easy to remember his last name because it rhymed with plow. All I had to do was sing the Mr. Plow jingle from the Simpsons using his name instead of plow, and I was golden.

I told that to my immediate supervisor. We shared a small laugh, then she got deadly serious and said, “Yeah, stop doing that.”

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How to Flesh Out an Insight

This comic probably angered a few tightrope walkers, but what are they going to do about it from up there on that rope? Hit me with that long pole of theirs?

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How to Explain What the Deal Is with "The Avengers"

To be fair, two years before Super Friends launched, DC did address somewhat grittier subject matter.

Image Source: Wikipedia

My favorite thing about that cover is that Green Lantern is being such a jerk about it. I’m amazed he didn’t use his ring to make a giant green hand pointing at Speedy with the words “Dope Fiend.”

Also, you’d think Speedy would have been on amphetamines. Just saying.

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How to Recognize an Opportunity

I am on the record as having really enjoyed the movie Tomorrowland. I don’t claim it’s some high-point in western cinema, but it’s an enjoyable fantasy-adventure with a message that resonates for me. Also, George Clooney in old grouch mode is fun. (Some day, he and Brad Pit will star in a remake of Grumpy Old Men. An entire generation will groan in despair when they see the first trailer, but they’ll go see the movie.)

I think part of the movie’s problem was that they sold it as a George Clooney action film with a young lady for a sidekick, but then the movie turned out to be two young ladies on an adventure with George Clooney as an Obi Wan figure.

Anyway, it’s on Disney+ now, so if you believe that the future can still be great if we just have the gumption to make it great, or if you have a daughter and you’d like her to see some good role models, I suggest you give it a shot.

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How to Appreciate the Humor of the Situation

I wrote this comic after I had two of the same make and model of keyboard break on me in the exact same way in less than three years. If you’re wondering whether I had done something unusual on the keyboards to make them break, the answer is yes. I typed on them more than the manufacturer anticipated.

Some of you are thinking that I got what I deserved for buying cheap keyboards. Goes to show what you know. The keyboards weren’t cheap! Not at all! (That sounded a lot more like a victory in my head.)

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How to Keep from Getting Your Hopes Up

The specific movie discussed in this comic was Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and it was a good movie!

And the next Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi . . . had some great moments. Try to tell me you weren’t happy to see puppet Yoda performed by Frank Oz.

And the third movie in that set, The Rise of Skywalker . . . had Babu Frik! And Hux got shot by Richard E. Grant! That’s something!

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How to Consider Your Options

I like the joke of panel one, but the execution could have been better. I should have worded it, “Parenthood: The art of protecting your child from the world, and the world from your child.”

I might have sold a million T-shirts.

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How to Show Character

The Emperor of the Moon is trapped in a repeating pattern that makes his own life much less pleasant, but he seems unable or unwilling to take the minimal steps needed to break the cycle.

As I write this comment, one of our cats is walking back and forth on my desk, intermittently blocking my access to my keyboard and my view of the monitor. She does this every day, and I never kick her off of the desk.

I’m just saying, I drew the Emperor to look like Rick, but there’s more than a little of me in him as well.

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How to Discuss Something Unimportant That Bothers You

I have a game I play with one of our cats, Flapjack. Missy and I call the game “Bip.”

The rules are simple.

The cats have a pile of toy mice. I keep these mice on the table next to my favorite chair. As I watch TV, Flapjack hides around the corner of another piece of furniture and peers at me as if plotting a sneak attack. This is the signal that it’s time to play “Bip.”

I hold one of the toy mice by the tail and fling it in the air in a high arc, so that it will land near her. When I do this, one of two things will happen.

She may leap out of her hiding spot, often surprisingly high. Rather than catching the mouse, she hits it with both of her front paws as if playing volleyball. The mouse flies in a random direction, where it will be very difficult for me to find.

We repeat this process over and over until all the mice are gone. Then I search the living room for them, usually losing at least one.

We call this “Bip” because Missy will often talk for the cat, in a high-pitched voice, and when the cat hits the mouse, Missy will yell, “Bip!” That’s the whole game, and I find it adorable.

That’s one of the two possible outcomes. The other is that I throw the mouse. Flappy watches it fly, land, and bounce on the floor near her without moving, then she looks at me like I’m an idiot. I also find this adorable.

I don’t understand why non-cat people think cat owners are crazy.

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