How to Give Someone Guidance

Panel one made me laugh out loud. It’s not often a pun qualifies as gross. Well done, past me.

The real person upon whom I based the character Athena is a delightful young woman I worked with at Walt Disney World. By chance, I bumped into her and a guy I also worked one day when I went to a movie theater. I was there solo, and as fate would have it, they just happened to be going to the same showing of the same movie. We all ended up sitting together, then I took their pictures in the lobby to include them in the comic.

Most of you reading this are probably thinking that I rudely hijacked these two young people’s date. I was worried about the same thing and surreptitiously offered to get lost, but was told emphatically that I should stay. And anyway, if it was a date, the lack of romance was not my fault so much as the fact that they went to see Jackass 3D.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Express the Fact That You Are Offended

It will surprise few of you that my favorite band is They Might Be Giants.

For obvious reasons, this comic reminds me of one of my favorite songs of theirs. Friends, I hereby present: “Madam, I Challenge You to a Duel.”

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Accept and Appreciate the Ways in Which Age Changes You

To be fair, when I was a kid I think my problem with naps was having my nap time strictly enforced and determined by someone else based (I now realize) primarily on when they needed a rest. Imagine if you disagreed with your supervisor at work and they said, “You’re getting a little cranky. I order you to go put your head down on your desk for the next twenty minutes.”

Even now, I would take that as an opportunity to demonstrate just how cranky I could be.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Find Common Ground

In the font I used for dialog, at the scale in which I used it, the word “Android” followed by a semicolon looks like “Androidi,” which is what they should name the first robot to drive a race car. “Mario Androidi.”

That font is based on Missy’s handwriting. She made one based on mine as well, but it looked so unhinged she decided to name it “Scott Slaughter.”

Note from Missy: you can get the Basic Instructions dialog font, “Boldly Missy,” with a free commercial-use license!  You can also get “Scott Slaughter” with the same free license, if that’s your jam.  Heck, I have a whole bunch of fonts with free licenses, including a couple of feature-packed new ones!

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Discuss a Possible New Technology Purchase

I don’t have much to say about this comic, so instead I’ll show you what the real Ric got me for my recent birthday.

BEHOLD!

A personalized Funko Pop! It’s just the thing for the immature egomaniac. He knows me far too well.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Turn the Tables

The real Ric and I were talking about going to San Diego Comic Con a while back, and I considered throwing together a Knifeketeer costume for him. Then I remembered that you have to get any cosplay weapons inspected before you’re allowed out on the show floor every time you enter, and that would be a lot of knives to get checked.

Note from Missy: This one makes me want to play Hitman 3, because there are now “hobby knives” lying around for 47 to use.(Though I’ll probably go back to my classic habit of throwing wrenches at people’s heads.So satisfying!)

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Relate to Someone Whose Experience Contradicts Yours

This is completely unrelated to the comic, but the Beastie Boys song “Sabotage” is playing, and it occurred to me that if you’d told me in 2008 that eventually I would hear this song and think of Captain Kirk, I would not have believed it.

Also, you could have easily blown past-me’s mind by telling him that there would be a TV series about an elderly Captain Picard that also features Commander Data and Seven of Nine, and that it was quite good but many people were put off by “all the cursing.”

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Face a Difficult Task

I’ve been told that you can get pets to eat pills if you smear the pills with peanut butter. Of course, I wonder why they don’t just make tubes of medicinal peanut butter we can squeeze into our pets’ mouths, or children’s mouths, or, for that matter, my mouth. Why am I sitting here trying to figure out a way to make someone else’s medicine more pleasant when I don’t like taking the stuff either?

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Deal with a Family Crisis on the Other Side of the Country

A few years later, dad had heart surgery and didn’t tell any of us until afterward. We were not pleased, but now that the anger has subsided, I think I understand. He probably figured that if the surgery went well we’d all either be too happy to get mad or too worried about upsetting him in his delicate state to give him to hard a time. On the other hand, if the surgery went badly, telling us about it wouldn’t be his problem.

There’s a certain grim wisdom in that, which is the kind of wisdom my father specializes in.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Enjoy the Wisdom That Comes with Age

There was some controversy about this one when it first ran, so let me be clear; I did not count Battlestar Galactica 1980 as a reboot . . . or a sequel . . . in fact, I like to pretend it didn’t happen. At that age I could live with Viper pilots riding around on flying motorcycles, but the Cylons coming to Earth to attack Wolfman Jack was too much for my child-mind to accept.

They’re still working on that third reboot, by the way. If it feels like it’s still too soon to you, I’ll point out that the Edward James Olmos/Mary McDonnell/Katee Sackhoff reboot premiered in 2003.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).