In the first three panels of this comic I make fun of fictional me for stubbornly antagonizing someone whose good will he depends on for his livelihood. Ironic, since that’s exactly what I did by writing this comic, deliberately riddled with spelling errors.
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I actually like a good romantic comedy. Nora Ephron in particular did excellent work. I’m always happy when I catch part of You’ve Got Mail on TV. There’s a lot of good stuff in that movie.
“Never marry a man who lies!”
“He was too proud, or was he too prejudiced. I can never remember.”
“That nut from the observer who’s in love with his typewriter.”
I have it on DVD. If memory serves, I bought it at the huge, fabulous Barnes and Noble store at University Village in Seattle. It was an early prototype for the immense bookstores that Fox Books in You’ve Got Mail was based on. It’s long since gone out of business.
Something to think about next time the movie comes on.
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I think I’ve shared this opinion before, but I feel strongly enough about it that I’m fine with repeating myself.
In the Star Wars prequels, there was prophecy that “the one” would “bring balance to the force.” Then Liam Neeson brought in a kid he thought was “the one.” At that point, there was a small army of Jedi using the Force for good, and, like, one guy using it for evil, and they weren’t even sure he existed. How does nobody look at that situation and not realize that if the kid’s going to “bring balance,” he will have to be the most evil bastard in the galaxy?
Yoda should have diced Anakin like an onion while shouting, “Sorry, I am. Safe, we must play it.”
Note from Missy: Ooh, I remember this comic because of the spelling. If you ever needed an example of how the English language is kind of a dick, look at how “prophecy” is a noun, and “prophesy” is a verb. Because that isn’t going to trip anyone up, right?
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If you say you receive a paycheck for doing your job, it sounds mundane and kind of depressing. If you tweak your perspective and say that you’re being bribed to perform certain services, suddenly it sounds much more exciting, doesn’t it? You can even up the ante by saying, “There’s a certain highly placed individual I for whom I do occasional favors, and as a thank you they let me wet my beak.” Tell someone that, and they won’t ask any more questions.
Unless they’re a cop. If they are a cop, they will have many questions.
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One might ask who Omnipresent Man’s powers are more unpleasant for: him, or everyone else. I would argue that they are most unpleasant for me, the guy who thought them up, and as such is has to explain them in a way that makes sense.
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If you buy a quality item, it will last. I wrote this comic seven years ago, and I still have that steel ruler. I can see it right now, sticking out of the organizer on Missy’s desk.
Okay, I don’t have it, but I have access to it, and that’s just as good. That’s what Missy tells me, at least. I’m not going to argue. She might hit me with the steel ruler.
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I do enjoy the game Risk. Having an app on my phone that I can play against has been a boon, as no human is willing to play with me anymore. Also, the app does all of the dice rolling and the math. All I have to do is decide where to attack, and look smug or close the app and declare, “This game doesn’t count” when things don’t go well.
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I am from the Yakima valley of Washington state. Apple country. Specifically, Red Delicious apple country. I hate Red Delicious apples, and it’s not just because many of my memories of them involve having them thrown at me (They’re so plentiful in Yakima that they are what you throw at someone when you don’t want to waste a good rock).
They’re the apples you get when you say, “Give me an apple,” but you don’t specify what kind. They’re the fruit equivalent of generic beer, or scotch that comes in a big plastic jug.
Note from Missy: Scott has written something SO TOTALLY WRONG in this comic.
He used the sound effect “CRUNCH” for a Red Delicious apple; for an apple that mushy and lifeless, it should have been more like “SMUSH.”
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It’s ironic that I hate shaving, yet I’ve ended up with a shaved head and a Van Dyke, which requires me to continue shaving despite the fact that I have a beard.
The alternatives (a ring of hair around the back of my head with a wispy poof of fuzz on top and a full neck-beard, or remaining clean shaven) don’t look good on me. All of the cuts and spots of razor burn don’t either, but at least they make me look tough.
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I might add that the chocolate bunny is hollow, because often the things that bring momentary pleasure, like chocolate, are unfulfilling in the end. Of course, sometimes the bunny is full of nougat, to symbolize the mysterious ways in which the Lord works, because nobody knows what nougat is.
I could do this all day.
Note from Missy: I feel like this was a grand experiment at the time: a comic with no narration, only dialog. Was this the only time you did it, Scott?
Note from Scott: I think I did two one-panel comics for Thanksgiving this way. Every other comic was done in my usual wall-of-text style.
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