One might ask who Omnipresent Man’s powers are more unpleasant for: him, or everyone else. I would argue that they are most unpleasant for me, the guy who thought them up, and as such is has to explain them in a way that makes sense.
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If you buy a quality item, it will last. I wrote this comic seven years ago, and I still have that steel ruler. I can see it right now, sticking out of the organizer on Missy’s desk.
Okay, I don’t have it, but I have access to it, and that’s just as good. That’s what Missy tells me, at least. I’m not going to argue. She might hit me with the steel ruler.
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I do enjoy the game Risk. Having an app on my phone that I can play against has been a boon, as no human is willing to play with me anymore. Also, the app does all of the dice rolling and the math. All I have to do is decide where to attack, and look smug or close the app and declare, “This game doesn’t count” when things don’t go well.
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I am from the Yakima valley of Washington state. Apple country. Specifically, Red Delicious apple country. I hate Red Delicious apples, and it’s not just because many of my memories of them involve having them thrown at me (They’re so plentiful in Yakima that they are what you throw at someone when you don’t want to waste a good rock).
They’re the apples you get when you say, “Give me an apple,” but you don’t specify what kind. They’re the fruit equivalent of generic beer, or scotch that comes in a big plastic jug.
Note from Missy: Scott has written something SO TOTALLY WRONG in this comic.
He used the sound effect “CRUNCH” for a Red Delicious apple; for an apple that mushy and lifeless, it should have been more like “SMUSH.”
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It’s ironic that I hate shaving, yet I’ve ended up with a shaved head and a Van Dyke, which requires me to continue shaving despite the fact that I have a beard.
The alternatives (a ring of hair around the back of my head with a wispy poof of fuzz on top and a full neck-beard, or remaining clean shaven) don’t look good on me. All of the cuts and spots of razor burn don’t either, but at least they make me look tough.
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I might add that the chocolate bunny is hollow, because often the things that bring momentary pleasure, like chocolate, are unfulfilling in the end. Of course, sometimes the bunny is full of nougat, to symbolize the mysterious ways in which the Lord works, because nobody knows what nougat is.
I could do this all day.
Note from Missy: I feel like this was a grand experiment at the time: a comic with no narration, only dialog. Was this the only time you did it, Scott?
Note from Scott: I think I did two one-panel comics for Thanksgiving this way. Every other comic was done in my usual wall-of-text style.
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When the Trololo thing hit, I was working with a woman just a bit older than me who grew up in the Soviet Union.
Anyway, she remembered that guy, and his work, and assured us that his work was representative of the kind of thing that was on Soviet TV at the time.
Some of our coworkers felt superior. I, on the other hand, remembered Hee Haw, The Mike Douglas Show, and . . . (ugh) Shields and Yarnell. We are not as different as we sometimes like to think.
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In the process of commenting on a dumb conversation, Missy ends up participating in the dumb conversation, and looking just as dumb as the other two participants.
Something to think about next time two of your friends are having a political argument on Facebook.
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So the moon minion is asking the emperor to kiss his burnt finger, and the emperor refuses. Fair enough. But we established that the moon emperor somehow applied his own “high-viscosity-moon-saliva” to the minion’s finger.
A better artist might have shown you the saliva application, but given my methods, I would have needed to pose a photograph of Ric sucking on or spitting on someone’s finger. No comic strip is worth that.
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I’ve said that I consider myself to be the villain of the comic, and the angry customer comics are a good example of why. All he wants is for my company to do the job he paid us to do, and all he gets is abuse.
In this comic though, it’s pretty clear that I’d rather not be abusing the client, and that the boss is making me do it. In essence, the boss is abusing the client, and I’m just a tool with which the boss abuses him.
This is why I’d make a terrible lawyer. Any defense that includes the phrase “I’m just a tool” is a pretty weak defense.
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