How to Project

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It is difficult to talk in a loud voice to a large group of people without sounding angry, even when you have a microphone and a PA system. Just looking at either presidential candidate will show you that.

I can tell you from personal experience (gained by working at a certain theme park) that it’s even harder to project loud enough to be heard by hundreds of people, unamplified, then, as soon as you’re done with your announcement have some guy (it was always a guy in his late thirties to early forties) who is standing right in front of you (it was ALWAYS the guy literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME) immediately ask, “what was that again?” without getting genuinely angry at them.

Note from Missy: Seriously – middle-aged dads, especially in a theme park environment, are the worst. They love to bluster, argue, and show their families that they know way more than this common wage slave. Don’t be that guy, guys.

 

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How to Project

in

It is difficult to talk in a loud voice to a large group of people without sounding angry, even when you have a microphone and a PA system. Just looking at either presidential candidate will show you that.

I can tell you from personal experience (gained by working at a certain theme park) that it’s even harder to project loud enough to be heard by hundreds of people, unamplified, then, as soon as you’re done with your announcement have some guy (it was always a guy in his late thirties to early forties) who is standing right in front of you (it was ALWAYS the guy literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME) immediately ask, “what was that again?” without getting genuinely angry at them.

Note from Missy: Seriously – middle-aged dads, especially in a theme park environment, are the worst. They love to bluster, argue, and show their families that they know way more than this common wage slave. Don’t be that guy, guys.

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Invent a Superhero

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This is sort of a primordial origin of the Knifeketeer. It doesn’t really involve the character at all, but you can see the germ of the idea forming.

It’s not really that unusual of an idea, a superhero who murders villains with knives. Wolverine is a superhero. He murders villains with knives that are built into his arms. He can also heal really fast, and has an unbreakable skeleton, but without the knives, he wouldn’t be much use. He’d mostly serve as a distraction, allowing the enemy to beat him mercilessly while the rest of the team does more important work.

I think he’d be called “The Pummelee.”

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Invent a Superhero

in

This is sort of a primordial origin of the Knifeketeer. It doesn’t really involve the character at all, but you can see the germ of the idea forming.

It’s not really that unusual of an idea, a superhero who murders villains with knives. Wolverine is a superhero. He murders villains with knives that are built into his arms. He can also heal really fast, and has an unbreakable skeleton, but without the knives, he wouldn’t be much use. He’d mostly serve as a distraction, allowing the enemy to beat him mercilessly while the rest of the team does more important work.

I think he’d be called “The Pummelee.”

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Wake Someone Up

in

My dad, for as long as I can remember, has had a big recliner, and has always fallen asleep in said recliner in front of the TV. Every night this happened.

I considered buying a big recliner recently. I chose not to, partly because we have cats, and spending too much on any one piece of furniture would be folly, and partly because pushing the recliner into its fully reclined position instantly made me sleepy.

Note from Missy: Oh, man, that sofa was SO COMFY to sleep on. I don’t remember the name of it; it’s an IKEA model that hasn’t been for sale in 10 years. It had one giant bottom cushion, a round backrest, and one metal-pole arm that you covered with a big bean-bag pillow. Sucked if you wanted to sit up straight, but oh, the epic naps I took on that beauty.

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Wake Someone Up

in

My dad, for as long as I can remember, has had a big recliner, and has always fallen asleep in said recliner in front of the TV. Every night this happened.

I considered buying a big recliner recently. I chose not to, partly because we have cats, and spending too much on any one piece of furniture would be folly, and partly because pushing the recliner into its fully reclined position instantly made me sleepy.

Note from Missy: Oh, man, that sofa was SO COMFY to sleep on. I don’t remember the name of it; it’s an IKEA model that hasn’t been for sale in 10 years. It had one giant bottom cushion, a round backrest, and one metal-pole arm that you covered with a big bean-bag pillow. Sucked if you wanted to sit up straight, but oh, the epic naps I took on that beauty.

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Share Your Enthusiasm

in

That phone, by the way, was a T-Mobile Shadow, and it was terrible.

It was an attempt to get the features of a smartphone without unnecessary extras like touch sensitivity, adequate memory, or a processor that could handle the load.

Here’s a fun little peek into life in the theme park industry. When I first started at Walt Disney World, cast members were not allowed to bring a cell phone on stage (that is, anywhere that a guest might see you). You had to either leave it in your car or put it in a locker. Later, they changed the rule, allowing you to have your phone in your pocket, but it had to be silenced and you could NEVER take it out on stage.

I know of at least one cast member who was fired for posting on Facebook on stage, in front of guests. After he was fired, he complained about it on Facebook, which was not surprising.

Anyway, my fellow cast members would sometimes look at me like I was insane because I kept my phone in a Ziploc bag. Later, when we’d get caught in the rainstorm that seems to hit Orlando every day of the summer at about three in the afternoon, they’d often ask me which size of Ziploc I recommended.

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Share Your Enthusiasm

in

That phone, by the way, was a T-Mobile Shadow, and it was terrible.

It was an attempt to get the features of a smartphone without unnecessary extras like touch sensitivity, adequate memory, or a processor that could handle the load.

Here’s a fun little peek into life in the theme park industry. When I first started at Walt Disney World, cast members were not allowed to bring a cell phone on stage (that is, anywhere that a guest might see you). You had to either leave it in your car or put it in a locker. Later, they changed the rule, allowing you to have your phone in your pocket, but it had to be silenced and you could NEVER take it out on stage.

I know of at least one cast member who was fired for posting on Facebook on stage, in front of guests. After he was fired, he complained about it on Facebook, which was not surprising.

Anyway, my fellow cast members would sometimes look at me like I was insane because I kept my phone in a Ziploc bag. Later, when we’d get caught in the rainstorm that seems to hit Orlando every day of the summer at about three in the afternoon, they’d often ask me which size of Ziploc I recommended.

 

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).