How to Confound your Alien Captor

in

I’m not nearly as into hot wings as I used to be. Really, they were more of a social thing than anything else. Ric and I would eat hot wings at a place called the Wing Dome, which is in Seattle, and is built in an old Vespa garage. Then we’d go to one of our places and watch some obscure sci-fi movie, like ZARDOZ or Colossus: The Forbin Project.

Hmm. We’d eat painful food, served in a loud, cold, drafty environment, then watch movies we knew to be bad. It’s entirely possible that Ric and I are masochists.

That would explain our friendship, given that he spent a decade enduring my public ridicule, and that I never, in that entire decade, ran out of material.

 

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How to Confound your Alien Captor

in

I’m not nearly as into hot wings as I used to be. Really, they were more of a social thing than anything else. Ric and I would eat hot wings at a place called the Wing Dome, which is in Seattle, and is built in an old Vespa garage. Then we’d go to one of our places and watch some obscure sci-fi movie, like ZARDOZ or Colossus: The Forbin Project.

Hmm. We’d eat painful food, served in a loud, cold, drafty environment, then watch movies we knew to be bad. It’s entirely possible that Ric and I are masochists.

That would explain our friendship, given that he spent a decade enduring my public ridicule, and that I never, in that entire decade, ran out of material.

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Rationalize

in

HD-DVD! I barely remembered that it was ever a thing! It was Betamax to Blu-Ray’s VHS. I remember you could buy an external HD-DVD drive for the Xbox 360. I’m sure they sold a ton of those.

Or there was DIVX. It was an alternative to DVDs. The discs cost a lot less, but they only worked for 48 hours. If you wanted to watch the movie again after that, you had to pay more money. You were essentially buying the right to rent the movie in the future. Surprisingly, that didn’t work out.

In other news, there’s a 4K-disc player out. I don’t suggest buying one just yet.

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Rationalize

in

HD-DVD! I barely remembered that it was ever a thing! It was Betamax to Blu-Ray’s VHS. I remember you could buy an external HD-DVD drive for the Xbox 360. I’m sure they sold a ton of those.

Or there was DIVX. It was an alternative to DVDs. The discs cost a lot less, but they only worked for 48 hours. If you wanted to watch the movie again after that, you had to pay more money. You were essentially buying the right to rent the movie in the future. Surprisingly, that didn’t work out.

In other news, there’s a 4K-disc player out. I don’t suggest buying one just yet.

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Create a Running Gag

in

I have a lot of questions about these two men.

Do Chubby Checker and Fats Domino know each other? If they do, are they friends? Are they enemies? Did they start as enemies, then slowly, almost grudgingly come to respect one another, eventually forging a strong bond because, at the end of the day, they are the only two men on earth who understand the incredible stresses one endures when being a musician whose last name is a game-piece and whose first name is an insulting reference to their weight?

I haven’t found the answers to any of these questions, but I have learned one surprising fact. According to Wikipedia, as of this writing, both Fats Domino and Chubby Checker are still alive!

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Create a Running Gag

in

I have a lot of questions about these two men.

Do Chubby Checker and Fats Domino know each other? If they do, are they friends? Are they enemies? Did they start as enemies, then slowly, almost grudgingly come to respect one another, eventually forging a strong bond because, at the end of the day, they are the only two men on earth who understand the incredible stresses one endures when being a musician whose last name is a game-piece and whose first name is an insulting reference to their weight?

I haven’t found the answers to any of these questions, but I have learned one surprising fact. According to Wikipedia, as of this writing, both Fats Domino and Chubby Checker are still alive!

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Win a Game of Rock-Paper-Scissors

in

Missy and I are the Inigo Montoya and Dread Pirate Roberts of Rock, Paper, Scissors. It will usually take us five rounds to find a winner.

In the first round we will both pick the same thing, rock, because you want to start from a position of strength.

Most people will move on to the thing that beats rock for round two. We’re both too clever for this, and to stick with rock would just be stubborn, so we both pick scissors.

The average person will move on to paper, as it has not been selected yet. We would never fall into that trap. So, we both choose rock again.

Now, and only now, will we both resort to paper.

Once all of the standard gambits have run their course, all bets are off. At that point she usually beats me.

Note from Missy: This is entirely true, often eerie, and makes for a good party trick.

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Win a Game of Rock-Paper-Scissors

in

Missy and I are the Inigo Montoya and Dread Pirate Roberts of Rock, Paper, Scissors. It will usually take us five rounds to find a winner.

In the first round we will both pick the same thing, rock, because you want to start from a position of strength.

Most people will move on to the thing that beats rock for round two. We’re both too clever for this, and to stick with rock would just be stubborn, so we both pick scissors.

The average person will move on to paper, as it has not been selected yet. We would never fall into that trap. So, we both choose rock again.

Now, and only now, will we both resort to paper.

Once all of the standard gambits have run their course, all bets are off. At that point she usually beats me.

Note from Missy: This is entirely true, often eerie, and makes for a good party trick.

 

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How to Explain Something to Someone Who Doesn't Get It

in

I’m quite proud of this comic. I like that in the end I’m the one not “getting it.”

I’ve had a few jobs where I was occasionally asked to stay late. I won’t claim to have always liked it, but I always preferred it to being told that I had to stay late. It’s just part of my mental make-up. I don’t think it’s laziness so much as resentment.

I remember when I was in elementary school and my teacher introduced the idea of homework. I instantly recognized it as a terrible injustice. Here I’m already spending all day in this stuffy room with you and a bunch of other kids, doing whatever you tell me to do, and now you’re telling me I have to go home and do more stuff you didn’t get around to? Seems to me like you need to work harder, teach.

It is not an attitude that served me well.

 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Explain Something to Someone Who Doesn't Get It

in

I’m quite proud of this comic. I like that in the end I’m the one not “getting it.”

I’ve had a few jobs where I was occasionally asked to stay late. I won’t claim to have always liked it, but I always preferred it to being told that I had to stay late. It’s just part of my mental make-up. I don’t think it’s laziness so much as resentment.

I remember when I was in elementary school and my teacher introduced the idea of homework. I instantly recognized it as a terrible injustice. Here I’m already spending all day in this stuffy room with you and a bunch of other kids, doing whatever you tell me to do, and now you’re telling me I have to go home and do more stuff you didn’t get around to? Seems to me like you need to work harder, teach.

It is not an attitude that served me well.

 

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).