How to Deal with a Crazy Spouse

This comic is based on a true story. NOT a story about my marriage, I might add. Someone else I know had their spouse act openly hostile for an entire morning. When asked why they were being hostile, the spouse explained that my acquaintance had been mean to them in a dream the night before. This was (I’m told) given as if it was a perfectly logical reason. My memory is that my friend pleaded that they have no control over what happens in another person’s dream, to which their spouse replied, “Oh, so it’s all my fault?” The spouse laughed as they said this, seeing that they were being silly, but still, that was a morning wasted.

The best move I ever made was marrying someone sane.

Note from Missy: 5 stars for the commentary! However, 1.5 stars for the artwork on this one. Also, the website called out along the bottom no longer exists—we let the hellomeyer domain expire, and now it’s been picked up by someone else who writes bafflingly-worded blog posts about the music business.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Deal with a Crazy Spouse

This comic is based on a true story. NOT a story about my marriage, I might add. Someone else I know had their spouse act openly hostile for an entire morning. When asked why they were being hostile, the spouse explained that my acquaintance had been mean to them in a dream the night before. This was (I’m told) given as if it was a perfectly logical reason. My memory is that my friend pleaded that they have no control over what happens in another person’s dream, to which their spouse replied, “Oh, so it’s all my fault?” The spouse laughed as they said this, seeing that they were being silly, but still, that was a morning wasted.

The best move I ever made was marrying someone sane.

Note from Missy: 5 stars for the commentary! However, 1.5 stars for the artwork on this one. Also, the website called out along the bottom no longer exists—we let the hellomeyer domain expire, and now it’s been picked up by someone else who writes bafflingly-worded blog posts about the music business.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Talk to Your Kid About Smoking

Okay, this … THIS … is one of the better comics I ever produced (in my opinion).

Really, looking back, I think one of the main things that kept me from taking up smoking was that my mother and her friends smoked. They made it look anything but cool.

When other teenaged guys thought of smoking they thought of … I dunno … poker games, cigars, and cool Zippo lighters. I thought of home permanents, ultra slim cigarettes, and cheap plastic disposable lighters with the owner’s zodiac sign silkscreened on the side in one color of ink.

Note from Missy: Font change! I used to make new handwriting fonts every year or two. I think this one ended up being the BI font for the rest of the run.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Talk to Your Kid About Smoking

Okay, this … THIS … is one of the better comics I ever produced (in my opinion).

Really, looking back, I think one of the main things that kept me from taking up smoking was that my mother and her friends smoked. They made it look anything but cool.

When other teenaged guys thought of smoking they thought of … I dunno … poker games, cigars, and cool Zippo lighters. I thought of home permanents, ultra slim cigarettes, and cheap plastic disposable lighters with the owner’s zodiac sign silkscreened on the side in one color of ink.

Note from Missy: Font change! I used to make new handwriting fonts every year or two. I think this one ended up being the BI font for the rest of the run.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Maintain a Secret Identity

El Destructo … What to say about El Destructo.

See, way back when, like in the late ’90s, before Luchadores had gone mainstream (or at least as close as they’ve gotten in this country), I happened to gain possession of a Luchador mask, and on a few occasions I turned up at the open mic night of my local comedy club performing under the name El Destructo. El Destructo’s act wasn’t very good. Every bit ended with him threatening violence against someone and yelling “Viva El Destructo!”

What can I say? Part of figuring out what’s funny is figuring out what isn’t.

I still have the mask. I also have a copy of the mask worn by El Santo. It’s a funny thing. You buy a lightsaber, and what you get is a nonfunctioning toy or replica of what you saw on the screen. If you buy a Captain America shield, same thing. You buy a Santo mask, you have an item that functions every bit as well as the one you saw in the movie. And, as an added bonus, soon starts to smell exactly how you always imagined Santo’s mask smelled.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Maintain a Secret Identity

El Destructo … What to say about El Destructo.

See, way back when, like in the late ’90s, before Luchadores had gone mainstream (or at least as close as they’ve gotten in this country), I happened to gain possession of a Luchador mask, and on a few occasions I turned up at the open mic night of my local comedy club performing under the name El Destructo. El Destructo’s act wasn’t very good. Every bit ended with him threatening violence against someone and yelling “Viva El Destructo!”

What can I say? Part of figuring out what’s funny is figuring out what isn’t.

I still have the mask. I also have a copy of the mask worn by El Santo. It’s a funny thing. You buy a lightsaber, and what you get is a nonfunctioning toy or replica of what you saw on the screen. If you buy a Captain America shield, same thing. You buy a Santo mask, you have an item that functions every bit as well as the one you saw in the movie. And, as an added bonus, soon starts to smell exactly how you always imagined Santo’s mask smelled.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Curse Without Cursing

In retrospect, I should have called him a mother f-er. I do use great googly-moogly occasionally. Lately I’ve taken to calling people carpet-baggers. It’s historical, colorful, and sounds vaguely dirty.

He called me a carpet bagger. What’s a carpet bagger? Someone who has a “carpeted” “bag”? Someone who “bags” “carpets”? That might be a compliment, maybe. Either way, it’s filth of the highest order!

Note from Missy: I’m totally charmed by the fact that all of the cursing and name-calling is happening during a hearty handshake of greeting. Also, a little “inside baseball” for the readers: Truly, Scott rarely ever swears. I’ve seen him injure himself and shout out, “That’s unfortunate!”

Hey, in case you're interested, I (This is scott again, btw) did an interview with a radio station in Pennsylvania, 98.7 “The FREQ.” It’s available on their website, if you want to hear what I sound like … from a great distance … while gargling. The phone connection wasn’t the best.

Also, in the United States, during the month of November, the Kindle editions of all three Magic 2.0 books will available at a reduced price.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Curse Without Cursing

In retrospect, I should have called him a mother f-er. I do use great googly-moogly occasionally. Lately I’ve taken to calling people carpet-baggers. It’s historical, colorful, and sounds vaguely dirty.

He called me a carpet bagger. What’s a carpet bagger? Someone who has a “carpeted” “bag”? Someone who “bags” “carpets”? That might be a compliment, maybe. Either way, it’s filth of the highest order!

Note from Missy: I’m totally charmed by the fact that all of the cursing and name-calling is happening during a hearty handshake of greeting. Also, a little “inside baseball” for the readers: Truly, Scott rarely ever swears. I’ve seen him injure himself and shout out, “That’s unfortunate!”

Hey, in case you're interested, I (This is scott again, btw) did an interview with a radio station in Pennsylvania, 98.7 “The FREQ.” It’s available on their website, if you want to hear what I sound like … from a great distance … while gargling. The phone connection wasn’t the best.

Also, in the United States, during the month of November, the Kindle editions of all three Magic 2.0 books will available at a reduced price.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Be Fired

Okay, the comics are starting to feel like basic instructions to me. The fact that in the previous comic and this comic I got fired should not be seen as a sign that I got fired from a job. Instead, I was deeply concerned about getting fired from a job. There’s a big difference.

These two comics running back to back is probably the closest the strip ever got to having a continuing storyline.

Note from Missy: I love that he’s giving you some sort of book with the title “You’re Fired” on it. Like the employee manual, but the opposite.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Be Fired

Okay, the comics are starting to feel like basic instructions to me. The fact that in the previous comic and this comic I got fired should not be seen as a sign that I got fired from a job. Instead, I was deeply concerned about getting fired from a job. There’s a big difference.

These two comics running back to back is probably the closest the strip ever got to having a continuing storyline.

Note from Missy: I love that he’s giving you some sort of book with the title “You’re Fired” on it. Like the employee manual, but the opposite.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).