How to Remember Your Lines

in

I do, in fact, talk things through under my breath. I don’t even know I’m doing it half the time. I try not to do it in public, but I do catch myself occasionally. Nobody’s ever commented on it, almost certainly because they think I’m insane.

In retrospect, the last line should have been “Let’s talk about my unemployment compensation.” It would have been clearer, if wordier.

Note from Missy: You had to get fired from this particular job. The position under Mullet Boss was waiting for you! Also: “Nobody’s ever commented on it”? Umm … J

Note from Scott: Nobody’s commented on me muttering to myself in public. You comment on me doing it around the house all the time, which only leads to more muttering.

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How to Remember Your Lines

in

I do, in fact, talk things through under my breath. I don’t even know I’m doing it half the time. I try not to do it in public, but I do catch myself occasionally. Nobody’s ever commented on it, almost certainly because they think I’m insane.

In retrospect, the last line should have been “Let’s talk about my unemployment compensation.” It would have been clearer, if wordier.

Note from Missy: You had to get fired from this particular job. The position under Mullet Boss was waiting for you! Also: “Nobody’s ever commented on it”? Umm … J

Note from Scott: Nobody’s commented on me muttering to myself in public. You comment on me doing it around the house all the time, which only leads to more muttering.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Win an Argument

in

This is a technique that works and is used, in a slightly less exaggerated form, by many people every day. I wish it weren’t the case.

I also wish people didn’t hold on to the delusion that raisins are in any way an acceptable form of food. They are nothing but grapes that went bad, and should be discarded as such. Raisins are a practical joke the farmers of Fresno have perpetrated on the rest of us in retaliation for the fact that they have to live in Fresno. They are the thing you put in cookies that you then give to someone you think eats too many cookies, and the “treat” you give trick or treaters in hopes of discouraging them from ever ringing your doorbell again.

Note from Missy: I can’t wait to hear your opinion of prunes. (I already know how you feel about Red Delicious apples.)

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Win an Argument

in

This is a technique that works and is used, in a slightly less exaggerated form, by many people every day. I wish it weren’t the case.

I also wish people didn’t hold on to the delusion that raisins are in any way an acceptable form of food. They are nothing but grapes that went bad, and should be discarded as such. Raisins are a practical joke the farmers of Fresno have perpetrated on the rest of us in retaliation for the fact that they have to live in Fresno. They are the thing you put in cookies that you then give to someone you think eats too many cookies, and the “treat” you give trick or treaters in hopes of discouraging them from ever ringing your doorbell again.

Note from Missy: I can’t wait to hear your opinion of prunes. (I already know how you feel about Red Delicious apples.)

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Cheat at Video Games

in

I still contend that if I pay for the entire game, and the game has a story, there should be a way for me to see the whole story even if I’m not a skilled enough gamer to fight my way through.

For the record, the game in this strip was Viewtiful Joe. Yes, it really did have a level that ended up with Joe fighting a helicopter gunship armed only with his fists and feet. And yes, I did read an online walkthrough that directed me to “kick and punch the helicopter until it dies.”

Question from Missy: Did you ever end up finishing Viewtiful Joe? I don’t remember.

Answer from Scott: No. I did not.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Cheat at Video Games

in

I still contend that if I pay for the entire game, and the game has a story, there should be a way for me to see the whole story even if I’m not a skilled enough gamer to fight my way through.

For the record, the game in this strip was Viewtiful Joe. Yes, it really did have a level that ended up with Joe fighting a helicopter gunship armed only with his fists and feet. And yes, I did read an online walkthrough that directed me to “kick and punch the helicopter until it dies.”

Question from Missy: Did you ever end up finishing Viewtiful Joe? I don’t remember.

Answer from Scott: No. I did not.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Split a Tab

in

This is the first, and only time that I went back and added to a comic after the fact. In retrospect, if the material I was going to add was just going to be jokes about peeing my pants, it’s probably a good thing that it didn’t happen again.

Note from Missy: I had to zoom in on this, and I’m still not entirely sure: is that a dead mouse left behind on Scott’s plate? Was it garnish?

Note from Scott: Of course it’s garnish. When dining at a fine restaurant, one never eats the dead mouse on the side of the plate. To do so would be terrible form.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Split a Tab

in

This is the first, and only time that I went back and added to a comic after the fact. In retrospect, if the material I was going to add was just going to be jokes about peeing my pants, it’s probably a good thing that it didn’t happen again.

Note from Missy: I had to zoom in on this, and I’m still not entirely sure: is that a dead mouse left behind on Scott’s plate? Was it garnish?

Note from Scott: Of course it’s garnish. When dining at a fine restaurant, one never eats the dead mouse on the side of the plate. To do so would be terrible form.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).