How to Make Peace

Way back in the mists of time, I participated in more than one roast. I was always surprised how few of the comedians ever bothered to actually write new material specifically about the person being roasted. Most of them seemed to just go up and do their usual act with some half-hearted segue to make it seem like the bit you’d seen them do a million times was somehow about the person being honored.

I thought about that while I was watching a documentary about the comedian Bob Einstein (A.K.A. Super Dave Osborne). He is the brother of Albert Brooks. Their father was a well-known comedian way back in the day. Bob Einstein swore he would never go into comedy after attending his father’s funeral, because Milton Berle got up, and instead of actually saying anything about the deceased, just did his act.

I wish I found that hard to believe.

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How to Be Patient

At my old office job, there was a honcho from corporate who would come in every now and then to settle someone’s hash. I found it easy to remember his last name because it rhymed with plow. All I had to do was sing the Mr. Plow jingle from the Simpsons using his name instead of plow, and I was golden.

I told that to my immediate supervisor. We shared a small laugh, then she got deadly serious and said, “Yeah, stop doing that.”

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