How to Prepare for the Future
The Star Trek episode referenced here is, of course, “Spock’s Brain”, where aliens steal . . . wait for it . . . Spock’s brain. They use it as the processor for the computer that controls their entire society. I love that episode. It’s terrible. There’s so much to mock in it, including the single line of Star Trek dialog that Missy and I quote most often.
“Brain and brain! What is brain?!”
My favorite thing is that until they can find Spock’s brain, McCoy rigs up a doohickey so he can drive Spock’s brainless body around like a remote-controlled car. You know Bones had some fun with that before he showed anyone else, making Spock do the Hokey Pokey and that sort of thing. Or maybe he just forced Spock’s body to say, “You are right, doctor,” over and over again.
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How to Find Out What Really Happened
Introducing the character Mr. Everywhere gave me a real problem, because the amount of room I had to work with in a frame was limited, and I couldn’t logically show Omnipresent Man and not show Mr. Everywhere there with him. If they’re both everywhere, it follows that they must be everywhere together.
Of course, I technically should have included Omnipresent Man in every panel of every comic I wrote from the moment I invented him on. I chose to sort of cheat and just not show him. Then, I created a second character who gave me the same problem, forcing me to cheat twice.
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How to Do Political Humor
And that’s why I try not to be overtly political. While I stand by the opinions expressed here, 100% of the predictions I made were wrong.
Also, I gotta say, the facial expression I drew in panel 2 is probably the least flattering image of me in existence.
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How to Deal with Your Mistakes
A long time ago, Missy and I were in a cash-poor position, and I decided to try earning a little side money by applying at a temp agency. They tested my typing ability and basic familiarity with Microsoft Office. I had used word processors before, but not Word. And at that point it had been a few years. In fact, the most advanced word processor I had used ran on a black and white Mac, if that gives you an idea. A few things had changed.
They asked me what the squiggly red line under a word in my document meant. I didn’t know.
Think about that. I did not know what the red line, the foundational interface of a modern spell checker, meant. To make it worse, while failing to answer that question, I looked directly at a misspelled word and didn’t catch the error.
I was not offered any work.
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How to Create a Compelling Villain
I don’t ever specify if the Emperor’s parents are dead or not. I could have made the Emperor deal with his controlling mother and disapproving father. Even if he kept them imprisoned, they could’ve constantly been browbeating him about the quality of their guards and cages.
”Rocket Hat wouldn’t lock his parents up like this. No, he’d do it right!”
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How to Express Admiration
Not to mention the subterranean city hidden beneath the Magic Kingdom.
I once had two middle-aged men walk up to me while I was working in one of the parks and ask me to solve an argument for them. One of the men said that he had heard there was an extensive tunnel system under the Magic Kingdom.
The other guy said, “No, there isn’t.”
I said, “There is.”
The first guy said, “I told you.”
The second guy said, “No, there isn’t.”
I said, “I’ve been in it, more than once.”
The second guy said, “You’re lying.”
I don’t have a lot of faith left in mankind’s ability to settle our differences.
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How to Be Patient
At my old office job, there was a honcho from corporate who would come in every now and then to settle someone’s hash. I found it easy to remember his last name because it rhymed with plow. All I had to do was sing the Mr. Plow jingle from the Simpsons using his name instead of plow, and I was golden.
I told that to my immediate supervisor. We shared a small laugh, then she got deadly serious and said, “Yeah, stop doing that.”
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