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How to Understand People's Motivations

April 28, 2021 by Scott Meyer

The only funny part of a knock-knock joke is the look of despair and audible groan that usually comes out of the person being told the joke immediately after they realize they are, in fact, about to endure a knock-knock joke. Anything amusement anybody may feel after that is an unanticipated bonus.

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April 28, 2021 /Scott Meyer
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How to Make a Joke About Celebrity Gossip

April 26, 2021 by Scott Meyer

Decades later, “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves is still the best musical shorthand for happiness. If you hear that song play in a movie, you know exactly what emotion you are meant to detect. Someday “Happy” by Pharrell Williams might take the crown, but he had to literally name the song “Happy” to even come close to challenging the champ.

When “Happy” became a big hit, I wonder if Katrina and the Waves were bummed . . . and what Katrina and the Waves being bummed would even sound like.

If I were a billionaire, I’d gather all of the members of Katrina and the Waves to do a cover of “A Long December” by Counting Crows.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

April 26, 2021 /Scott Meyer
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How to Process the Latest Horrible Information

April 23, 2021 by Scott Meyer

When I was something like ten years old an uncle of mine explained his genuine belief that connecting your TV to a coaxial cable allowed the networks to watch you as you watched TV. Not to keep track of what you were viewing and for how long; to literally watch a video feed of your home. That’s the kind of conversation that makes an impression on a kid. It was the first time I realized that some adults are nuts.

That uncle is still alive and believes that he prevented himself from getting COVID-19 by “coughing extra deep” to “get the virus out of his lungs.”


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April 23, 2021 /Scott Meyer
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How to Explain the Use of Specialized Equipment

April 21, 2021 by Scott Meyer

I do have a collapsible pointer. I keep it right here on my desk. These days, I mainly use it to retrieve cat toys from under furniture. Whenever I use it that way, the cats bat at the end of the pointer, essentially turning the pointer into a cat toy as well, and making me wonder why I’m bothering to fish the stuffed mouse out from under the couch.


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April 21, 2021 /Scott Meyer
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How to Point Out Something So Large That People Don't Notice It

April 19, 2021 by Scott Meyer

Actually, Patrick Stewart owned a hairpiece, and wore it for some of his Picard auditions. Also, for many years, he had (it makes me shudder just to type this) a comb-over. Apparently, it was a particularly unconvincing one.

One night, some friends of his invited him over for dinner and ambushed him. They held his arms down and cut the combover off over his protests. Usually, I would be dead-set against people doing that to another person, forcibly robbing them of their autonomy to do something irreversible they know he does not want, but I feel strongly enough about comb-overs that I have trouble condemning his friends in this case.


As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

April 19, 2021 /Scott Meyer
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How to Utilize and Counteract Sarcasm

April 16, 2021 by Scott Meyer

When this comic originally ran, I got accused of “punching down,” which, in retrospect, was a fair criticism. The thing is, I didn’t realize that I was doing that at the time. This was the first time I had to come to grips with the fact that people saw me as “Scott Meyer, successful web cartoonist and novelist,” while I still saw myself as “Scott Meyer, Walt Disney World ride operator, whose hobbies are, at the moment, getting some traction.”

That said, a frustrating bagger is something everybody can relate to. Everybody has experienced bad service. I just needed to realize that nobody wants to hear me complain about it. This was one of the major drawbacks of my comics’ main character being a slightly fictionalized version of myself.


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April 16, 2021 /Scott Meyer
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How to Make a Subtle Distinction

April 14, 2021 by Scott Meyer

I’m shocked to find that as near as I can tell there isn’t a drunk baseball YouTube channel . . . yet.


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April 14, 2021 /Scott Meyer
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How to Share Your Wisdom

April 12, 2021 by Scott Meyer

In this comic I say that people don’t like comedians. I’ve also been known to suggest that people don’t actually like magicians, jugglers, or hypnotists. This is an exaggeration, but not much of one. Most people don’t like performance forms where audience members can suddenly find themselves as part of the show. In general, audience members don’t want to be part of the show. That’s why they’re in the audience, not on the stage.

Of course, there are some audience members who do want to be part of the show, quite badly, but nobody else wants them to be. Especially the actual performers.


As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

April 12, 2021 /Scott Meyer
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How to Understand things for what They Really Are

April 09, 2021 by Scott Meyer

Yeah, I wrote this comic back when Kevin Spacey as Frank Underwood was considered cool. This . . . this has not aged well.

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April 09, 2021 /Scott Meyer
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How to Handle an Awkward Family Discussion

April 07, 2021 by Scott Meyer

Yes, my mother has a thing for Jack Palance.

No, she doesn’t mind discussing it openly, in front of her sons. But, and I cannot stress this point enough, instead of calling him a “sexy, sexy man,” as she does in this comic, she would swivel her hips and say he was “sexy-poo.”

Did you know that it’s possible for a teenage boy to cringe violently enough to throw his back out of alignment?

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

April 07, 2021 /Scott Meyer
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