How to Explain Why Things Aren't Going Well

One of the locations where I worked in the theme park industry had several highly technical computer-controlled attractions, and one attraction was not technical at all. Occasionally, if a trainee on one of the technical rides “wasn’t getting it,” their trainers would suggest that they be transferred to that less technical attraction. It started as a way of moving people with different skill sets to a place where they could better thrive, but human nature is what it is. The practice began to take on a feeling of punishment, as if people who weren’t smart enough were being banished. Again, I stress, that isn’t really the case, but that was the perception, and some people who got the transfer began to take it personally.

Of course, if one was trying to work their way up the ladder, the next step after being a trainer was a sort of area-assistant-manager position that left one directly supervising the crew of that less technical attraction, so I leave it to you to decide who actually ended up getting punished in the end.

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How to Deal With Change

Between Discovery, Lower Decks, Picard, and the forthcoming Strange New Worlds, I think CBS All Access might have figured out that the only way to keep me as a subscriber all year-round is to make sure there’s a new episode of Star Trek every week, forever.

I am not against this.

I only hope that D+ is paying attention. If they are, this time next year, in addition to The Mandalorian, I could be watching The Gamorrean, and an animated sitcom that takes place inside the Sarlacc’s intestine.

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How to "Binge Watch" a TV Show

Ric is, in fact, a huge jazz fan. He subscribes to a magazine about jazz and jazz musician. From what he says, most of the articles seem to be about jazz’s waning popularity and the difficulty jazz musicians have finding enough work to pay their bills.

The magazine is called Downbeat, which seems fitting.

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How to Make a Prequel

If I had thought to have Omnipresent Man say “just ’cause I’m everywhere doesn’t mean I’ve gotta explain everything” a couple of years earlier it would have saved me a lot of trouble. Of course, I’d have also missed out on two or three comics that came from my attempts to make sense of Omnipresent Man’s powers, but at the time I would have happily taken that deal.

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How to Remember the Good Times

I have this theory that nostalgia is just a side effect of people’s well-documented inability to remember pain accurately. We remember that things hurt, but we don’t specifically recall the exact sensation. Because of that we remember being young, free, and having most of life ahead of us, but we don’t remember being broke, lonely, or worried about the future.

I believe another side effect of the inability to remember pain accurately is that women sometimes willingly give birth to a second child.

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How to Make a Goal and Stick to It

A long time ago, I worked at a video store. One of my coworkers was a young woman who was trying to quit smoking. She asked me to keep an eye on her, and if she seemed like she was considering having a cigarette, to talk her out of it.

Two days later, another coworker, her “best friend,” asked her to go out back and have a cigarette with her. I told her that I’d promised to try to talk her out of it. She said she remembered, and chose not to go smoke. Later her friend scolded me, saying that I didn’t know how hard it is to quit and that I should be more supportive. I explained that I thought I was being supportive by helping her be strong. The friend disagreed and maintained that the kind thing was to let her have “one lousy cigarette” with her friends to make quitting easier.

The one who was trying to quit smoking and her best friend didn’t work at the video store much longer. They were both fired, and prosecuted. The “best friend” talked her into helping her steal a customer’s credit card number and use it to buy an extremely elaborate bong. I’m certain she was extremely supportive through the entire ordeal.

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How to Deal with Mistakes

This was inspired by a real article I read, and yes, the writer did say that Apple’s design studio reminded him of “the last scene of the movie 2010.” And yes, I had trouble concentrating about anything else for several hours after I read that.

The last scene of the movie 2010, for the record, depicts mankind being reminded that there are more powerful beings in the cosmos and that we need to shape up. There are no obvious parallels to Apple in that, unless you’ve been following their legal battle with Epic Games.

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How to Advise Someone as to What Kind of Computer They Should Buy

When helping a technophobe get their feet wet with computers, one wants to simplify things. But it is possible to take that urge too far. My elderly father decided to finally get “on the internet.” He went to the Apple Store and got himself an iPad, which I thought was a good choice, all things considered.

A few weeks later I asked him how he liked it. He didn’t.

He got it home, tried to use it, and gave up in frustration after a few days and several attempts. I asked a long series of questions and eventually figured out the problem. The salesman at the Apple Store told him that he could do everything he wanted to using Siri. Dad walked out with the impression that he could press the on button, then just tell Siri what he wanted, and she would do it for him. He spent three days barking orders at his iPad and having Siri refuse to do what he wanted. I don’t blame him for not enjoying that.

It probably reminded him of his marriage to my mother.

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How to Tell People About Your Dreams

Odd that this comic that references Magnum P.I. should come up. Just this week, at the supermarket, I took a picture of this puzzling item.

I have nothing against Tom Selleck, but I don’t understand the need for a Tom Selleck magazine.

I realize this is probably not a monthly, or even a quarterly publication. I suspect it’s a one-off, but still, why? Why Tom Selleck? Why does it get such a prominent spot, right next to the checkstand? Is he that important of a cultural figure? Was there nobody they thought was more deserving of this attention? And why now? The picture on the cover is from the early 1980s. There can’t be enough new information about Tom Selleck to justify this.

All of the questions I had were only magnified when I saw the magazine on the rack below.

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How to Remember the Good Old Days

Yes, internet services keep track of what you do, anonymize the data, and sell it to those who might want to predict your future actions to sell you related goods and services.

Small town gossips are different in that they keep track of what you do, clearly identify exactly who you are, share the information freely with others who want to focus on your past actions, and discuss at length why all of those actions were all wrong.

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