It would be fun to go back in time and tell past Scott that there’s a Star Trek series about an elderly Captain Picard that also features Seven of Nine and brief appearances by Data, just to see the look on past Scott’s face when I tell him that people have complained about “all the cursing.”
As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).
My first exposure to my German cuisine was a visit to an aunt’s where many of my adult relatives were working together to make sausage. While they fed meat into the hand-cranked grinder and filled the intestine casing, an aunt offered me a treat. I said “please,” and received her famous home-made sauerkraut, which five-year-old me perceived to be a stinking handful of wet cabbage.
The downside was that she did not instill in me a deep love of my heritage. The upside, for her, was that I never asked her for a treat again.
As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).
This comic marks the moment when my life changed.
When I wrote this particular comic, I lived in an apartment in Florida and had only recently started making enough money from my web comic to be able to scale my day job at Walt Disney World (in a role and location I no longer enjoyed in the slightest) back to part-time. I used my newfound extra time to write my first novel, and this is when I put it out there so people could maybe read it.
Seven years later I live in a house near Phoenix, Arizona (it’s still insanely hot, but I traded humidity for desiccation and gators for scorpions, both upgrades as far as I’m concerned) and I’m a full time novelist with nine books released and three more I’m working on. My life has changed in ways I wouldn’t have believed, and I am tremendously grateful to you, my readers, because you made it all happen.
And in return I’ve written nothing that is in any way funny in this commentary. That’s the thanks you get, I guess.
As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).
When Missy and I moved to Florida we committed to making the move, she accepted her new job, we both quit our existing jobs, we arranged to get out of our existing lease, then we flew to Orlando for a few days to scout the area and secure an apartment. After the plane landed we stopped at a mini-mart to buy some caffeine-laden drinks. They had three-inch-thick bullet proof glass in front of the cashier with a tiny little slot for cash, cigarettes, and lottery tickets.
My jetlagged brain started repeating the phrase “We have made a terrible mistake.”
It turns out that was just a picked a really bad mini-mart. Florida was fine, or at least better than I had feared.
I thought of that mini-mart recently. It occurred to me that today that bulletproof glass is probably serving pretty well as a sneeze guard.
As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).
I have an observation to make. I intend no political comment.
I have, in my life, had occasion to see some religious TV programming. It seems to me that the various ministers and preachers who acted as the hosts of these shows tended to project the impression that the things they talked about were obvious, self-evident, and made perfect sense.
I have also watched all three seasons of Cosmos (the original with Carl Sagan and the two new ones with Neil Degrasse Tyson). The general attitude of those shows seems to be “Wow! Look this CRAZY THING we figured out! Isn’t that wild?! And look here, look at all the complicated stuff we had to do to prove it! Amazing!”
I noticed the contrast and it amused me. That’s all. Read into it what you will.
As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).
Back when I worked in an office, I had a fairly memorable purple striped shirt. One day, as I sat behind my desk, wearing my shirt (as was my habit) one of my coworkers came up and said, “You know, Scott, that’s a cool shirt, but you shouldn’t wear it two days in a row.”
I said, “I won’t wear it tomorrow.”
He said, “What I mean is, you wore it yesterday.”
I knew for a fact that I hadn’t, but he was absolutely certain that I had, and insisting that he was wrong only made him think that I was a slob, forgetful, and incapable of accepting criticism. The only way to satisfy him would have been to lie to him and tell him he was right, which was not going to happen. In the end I dropped it for fear of being labeled as argumentative as well.
I still know for a fact I hadn’t worn the shirt the day before. (I had worn it two days before, though. It was a really cool shirt.)
As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).
The Knifeketeer doesn’t just stab things, because knives are good for more than just stabbing. Any time the fight against the criminal element calls for prying, carving, or jimmy-ing, it’s handy to have him around. And if you ever need a criminal spread evenly on toast, he’s the only hero to call!
As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).
People say time is the one thing you can’t buy more of, but you can. You can buy other people’s time and have them spend it doing time-consuming things you don’t want to, thus giving yourself more time.
I’ve often complained that people think the most plentiful resource on the planet is your time. Not their time, your time. People are more than happy to spend your time on the strangest things. Take it from a guy who was once paid to scrape the breading off of the leftover fish filets at night, then re-bread the fish the next morning.
Note from Missy: This reminds me of a boss I used to have. He loved to dictate letters, and he was a mumbler. So a letter that took him 3 minutes to dictate (and would have taken him no more than 5 minutes to type) took me a good hour to fully transcribe, what with the repeated rewinding, and going to him with questions like, “This word sounds like ‘radish,’ but I’m sure you didn’t say ‘radish.’ What do you think you said?”
As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).
The person who I witnessed dancing was Storm, of the music-comedy duo Paul and Storm. He is a good guy, has a fine sense of rhythm, and is physically coordinated. I’d like to believe I share two of those qualities, but I have always been poorly coordinated to the point of being clumsy.
Anyway, I was at an event where Paul and Storm were part of the entertainment. There was a lag in the festivities and Storm livened things up by starting a conga line, just like that, as naturally as walking. To you that probably sounds like nothing, but if I tried that everyone would be horrified by my attempt to dance, nobody would join me out of fear of looking just as bad, and if a few people did follow me out of pity I would probably steer us into a table or a wall.
As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).
