The Knifeketeer doesn’t just stab things, because knives are good for more than just stabbing. Any time the fight against the criminal element calls for prying, carving, or jimmy-ing, it’s handy to have him around. And if you ever need a criminal spread evenly on toast, he’s the only hero to call!
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People say time is the one thing you can’t buy more of, but you can. You can buy other people’s time and have them spend it doing time-consuming things you don’t want to, thus giving yourself more time.
I’ve often complained that people think the most plentiful resource on the planet is your time. Not their time, your time. People are more than happy to spend your time on the strangest things. Take it from a guy who was once paid to scrape the breading off of the leftover fish filets at night, then re-bread the fish the next morning.
Note from Missy: This reminds me of a boss I used to have. He loved to dictate letters, and he was a mumbler. So a letter that took him 3 minutes to dictate (and would have taken him no more than 5 minutes to type) took me a good hour to fully transcribe, what with the repeated rewinding, and going to him with questions like, “This word sounds like ‘radish,’ but I’m sure you didn’t say ‘radish.’ What do you think you said?”
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The person who I witnessed dancing was Storm, of the music-comedy duo Paul and Storm. He is a good guy, has a fine sense of rhythm, and is physically coordinated. I’d like to believe I share two of those qualities, but I have always been poorly coordinated to the point of being clumsy.
Anyway, I was at an event where Paul and Storm were part of the entertainment. There was a lag in the festivities and Storm livened things up by starting a conga line, just like that, as naturally as walking. To you that probably sounds like nothing, but if I tried that everyone would be horrified by my attempt to dance, nobody would join me out of fear of looking just as bad, and if a few people did follow me out of pity I would probably steer us into a table or a wall.
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This was based on an actual argument I had in high school. I said “furthermore,” and got accused of using “fifty-cent-words.” I pointed out that their belief that knowing and using words was somehow something I should be scolded for was telling. I also pointed out that furthermore was a very common word, and only three syllables long.
The person I was arguing with called me a nerd, told me to shut up, and acted like she had won the argument. The maddening thing is, as far as she was concerned, she did.
Note from Missy: If memory serves, the last time this comic ran, we had a surprising number of commenters complain that “ratio” is only two syllables. So for those of you who pronounce that word “ray-show” instead of “ray-shee-o”, I’d like to say: you’re absolutely welcome to be wrong. Just don’t write to us about it. :D
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This rerun suffers from ironic timing, as it is running during the COVID-19 pandemic. It’ll be interesting to see if cruise ships are still a thing a year from now.
I’ve been on four cruises, three at steep discounts and one to take my elderly mother to Alaska, which she’s always wanted to see. I can heartily endorse the experience of going on a cruise. It’s basically like having a luxury hotel that moves from place to place while you sleep. The better cruise companies have the guest experience part dialed in. Now if they can just do something about the environmental impact, tax evasion, and working conditions, they’ll really be on to something.
I’m willing to bet that the cruise ship employees are not paid nearly enough, but I don’t feel that working on such a ship would inherently be a bad job. The isolation from family is a problem, but that’s true for many jobs. It’s just a matter of compensating the employees fairly for it.
On one of the cruises I took I heard another passenger say that they felt bad for the crew because their jobs were “demeaning.” At the time I was a man in his late thirties working as a ride operator at Walt Disney World, another job they probably would have found demeaning. I considered it an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay, helping create a product I believed in. (I’m not always a fan of the Disney corporation or its actions, but I am a firm believer in their parks.) My experience was that the job was only demeaning when the guests deliberately demeaned me.
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I don’t know if I ever discussed this, but the idea for Mr. Everywhere came from the superhero Plastic Man. Not actually Plastic Man himself, but the Elongated Man and Mr. Fantastic, both of whom have pretty much the same powers as Plastic Man, I.E. stretchy-ness.
There are differences, of course. Mr. Fantastic is also a scientific genius. In addition to stretching, Plastic Man can form himself into complex objects, like mailboxes and cars, and Elongated Man . . . is a widower? I’ll be honest, I was always more of a Marvel guy than a DC guy.
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There’s a distinct difference between an explanation and an excuse. Sadly, someone making an excuse will often describe their excuse as an explanation, and if the person you’re explaining to is angry, any explanation will sound like an excuse.
There’s a saying I used to repeat to myself as a reminder that keeping quiet, at least in the short term, is usually the best policy when things go wrong.
“Don’t explain, don’t complain.”
It’s something I once heard that someone I respected and admired had said. I still remember the phrase occasionally, but now its meaning is completely overshadowed by irony, because it was said by Bill Cosby, whom I no longer respect or admire, and who has done a great deal of both explaining and complaining in recent years.
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I lived in Seattle for many years. I loved Seattle. I still miss Seattle. But (and this seems weird to me even though I’m the one saying it) the Seattle I miss doesn’t exist anymore. It’s been buried under an immense traffic jam.
One aspect of the Seattle I once knew that is still there is Red Mill Burgers, my favorite burger place in the world. I live within a ten-minute drive of several In-and-Outs, a Smash Burger, and a Shake Shack. I’d take Red Mill over any of them.
Why, you ask?
If you’d ever eaten at Red Mill, you wouldn’t have to ask, but I’ll answer anyway. Bacon. The giant pile of Bacon.
Here’s the results of a Google image search for the words “Red Mill Bacon.
And here’s a news story about the restaurant, and, of course, the bacon.
They also have the excellent taste to use Tillamook Medium Cheddar, the Cadillac of cheese.
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