How to Fight Casual Racism
There is something to the fact that all of those slurs in panel three are the kinds of things that one might come up with if they felt they’d gotten the raw end of a deal and were looking for someone other than themselves to blame for their misfortune.
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How to Apply the Lessons of Fiction to the Real World
Yes, in this comic I proclaim my belief that Spider-Man has radioactive blood. If you care to argue this point, I will have to entreat you to listen, refer to you as “Bud,” then draw your attention to the theme song of the ’60s Spider-Man cartoon, which bolsters my point.
Also, yes, this comic makes a pretty strong anti-Trump statement. If you’re offended, I’ll point out that I wrote the comic in 2012, three years before he announced he was running for president. That at least proves that my position has remained consistent. And, I mean, really, his casino went bankrupt. A CASINO! The one business where people literally come in and give you money without getting anything back in return.
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How to Explain Why You Like Something
That’s two Buffalo wing comics in a row. The irony is that I’m not actually that fond of wings. The fried chicken is really just a substrate for the parts I do like: the sauce and the breading.
If only someone would come up with a product that was all sauce and breading. Some sort of buffalo dumpling, perhaps. It would never sell. Nobody’s going to buy, and then eat, “Buffalo dumplings.” It sounds like a euphemism. I don’t know what for, but nothing good.
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How to Wrestle with Technology's Disturbing Philosophical Implications
I didn’t live in Phoenix when I wrote this. Now I do, and I have a greater understanding of what a society run by retirees would be like. Living forever might sound nice, but be aware, you will spend that eternity eating dinner at 4:30 PM.
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How to Soothe Hurt Feelings
This one’s based on a real conversation, one in which I was in the wrong. Working at a theme park, you get really familiar with hand sanitizer. I know a lot of people don’t like the stuff, but I suggest you spend a work day touching things that have been touched by thousands of strangers in just the last hour. You will learn to appreciate hand sanitizer.
While I was working there, stories began to surface that the alcohol in some sanitizers could be absorbed through the skin and affect the user as if they’d been drinking. I am skeptical, but the possibility did nothing to curb any of my coworkers’ use of the stuff.
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How to Explain How You Did It
For the record, the items MacraMayhem carries on his back are two giant knitting needles and a crochet hook. I considered having knitting needles come out of the backs of his wrists like Wolverine’s claws, but that would have been genuinely menacing, and for one of my villains, that is unacceptable.
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How to Share Your Knowledge
The Pepper’s Ghost illusion was originally used by charlatans to make people think they were looking at the dead, brought back as ghosts, which don’t exist. Now charlatans use the Pepper’s Ghost illusion to make people think they’re looking at the dead, brought back as 3D holographic projections, WHICH ALSO DON’T EXIST!
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How to Be Gracious in Defeat
When we were kids, my younger brother developed a diabolical strategy for winning at Monopoly. If I asked if he wanted to play, he’d say yes, but only if I would set up the board. I’d carefully count out $1500 per player in various denominations and organize the deeds so that the banker (me) would have an easier time later on.
When the game was ready, my brother would look at the board, say, “You know what? Naw. I don’t feel like it.” Then he’d go outside.
Yeah, technically we didn’t play the game, but I can tell you, as I sat there, putting all of the bills away, I didn’t feel like a winner.
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