How to Ask Someone "What's up" with One of Their Body Parts

The drawing of Mullet Boss I used in panels one, two, and four were originally drawn for use as closeups, so they are drawn with a thinner line, and have more detail. The drawing in panel three was meant to be used in more distant shots, so the lines tend to be thicker, and the drawing shows less detail. Creating the strip the way I did, choosing drawing for their pose, not their line weight, I often ended up with drawings meant for distance shots being used for close ups, which can be jarring.

I say this was an unfortunate result of my chosen style at the time.

Others would say it was an unfortunate result of the cartoonist being too lazy to draw new images.

Neither of these positions are wrong.

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How to React When you Learn You've Been Doing Something Wrong for Years

In a recent commentary, while discussing season 2 of Star Trek: Discovery, I brought up the character Sybok, Spock’s half-brother who was never mentioned before he showed up in the fifth movie, or mentioned again after the fifth film ended.

At first I said that the name of the fifth movie was Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country. That was an error. The fifth movie was Star Trek: The Final Frontier. The Undiscovered Country was the sixth film. You would be surprised how embarrassing I found the error.

The fact that a week later I’m forced to write a commentary for a comic that specifically mentions the fifth and sixth Star Trek movies is just fate rubbing my face in it.

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How to Listen to a Friend's Problems

I don’t have much to say about this comic. I’m sort of running out of things to say about me heaping abuse on Rick.

I will say that when we took the pictures I based these drawings on, I had no idea how often I’d use that exaggerated cringe pose in panel four. That and the slightly irritated look in panel one make up half of that character’s personality.

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How to Help Someone Plan a Visit

My family and friends from Washington came to see me when I lived in Orlando and had unfettered access to Walt Disney World, more often than they do now that I live in Phoenix, and have unfettered access to extreme heat.

I do not blame them for this, just as they don’t blame me for rarely coming back to my home town, where they have unfettered access to tumbleweeds.

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How to Articulate Your Vision

A kart racing game starring elderly people on mobility scooters is one of my better ideas. It’s not nearly good enough to pursue, mind you, but it’s still one of the better ones I’ve had.

NOTE: I have been made aware of the game Coffin Dodgers. Thank you.

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How to Avoid Misunderstandings

I like this one. Oddly, I have no memory of writing it at all.

I’m a huge fan of the show The Venture Brothers. Every time a season of it comes out on video, I watch every episode again, because the two guys who write the show, Jackson Public and Doc Hammer, do the best commentary tracks I’ve ever heard. They were part of the inspiration for me to start writing these commentaries on my comics.

Anyway, the Venture brothers are twins. In one episode, one of the brothers, Hank, says to his twin, Dean, “Sometimes I forget how young you are.”

Dean replies, “You’re five minutes older than me.”

Hank say, “Then maybe, in five minutes, you’ll understand.”

In the commentary for that episode, Jackson admits that he wrote that joke, and isn’t proud of it. Doc tells him that he thinks it’s a great joke, and that he should be proud of it. Jackson says that he thinks it’s kinda hokey.

Doc told him, “No, it’s good old-fashioned joking!”

I bring this up, because panel one of this comic also strikes me as an example of good old-fashioned joking.

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How to Overlook Flaws

I’m about to get into the weeds regarding Star Trek lore. Consider yourself warned.

The protagonist of Star Trek: Discovery is a human woman who is the adopted sister of Spock. This really bugs me, because Spock NEVER mentioned having a sister of any kind, and there’s a whole planet’s worth of Vulcan families they could have adopted her without creating any continuity issues.

I spent last season getting past that.

Now, this season, she’s looking for Spock because he’s been having religious visions since he was a child, and has seemingly acted illogically because of them.

This is Spock who is doing this. Spock.

This bothers me a little, because it’s out of character for Spock.

It bothers me A LOT because it would be perfectly in character for SYBOK!! You know, Sybok? Spock’s half brother, the RELIGIOUS ZEALOUT who got banished from Vulcan for ACTING ILLOGICALLY? Star Trek 5, THE FINAL FRONTIER! “I NEED MY PAIN!” “WHY DOES GOD NEED A STARSHIP?” Is any of this ringing any bells?

In case you’re wondering, no, the existence of Sybok has not been mentioned on Discovery. It’s almost as if they want us to forget Star Trek 5 happened.

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How to Form Your Opinion of Another Human Being

Yes, I worked with a guy who told me the story in panel one. No, I didn’t like him much.

I can think of several reasons a person would need a scooter without “looking like they need one.” Arthritis, heart condition, bad hip, circulation issues, you name it. Working in the theme park industry taught me that you can’t diagnose someone’s medical conditions just by glancing at them.

That said, I did see more than one family using a scooter or a wheelchair to try to skip lines. One young lady literally ran up to the entrance of the ride I was working, asked to borrow the courtesy wheelchair she saw tucked away behind the gate, then sat down in it and asked us where the wheelchair entrance to the ride was.

I have never taken more joy in telling someone that the regular queue was totally ADA compliant and wheelchair accessible.

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How to Pick Which Animal You're Most Like

I can’t say this often enough. For a time, I tried writing comics where I was kinder to the character Rick, even letting him win occasionally. The real Ric noticed, called me, and told me to knock it off.

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How to Learn About Someone By Examining Their Possessions

I lived in Orlando, and I’ve been to Mexico, the Bahamas, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, New York, and Alaska. In all of those places, I’ve seen gift shops selling the same shot glasses with the same slogans printed on their sides, with the place name added at the bottom in a mis-matched font, sometimes on a sticker. From a marketing point of view, it’s an interesting move. You have a product no clear-minded person would be excited about, so you target heavy drinkers.

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