I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If your workplace holds a potluck during the regular lunch break, in the regular lunchroom, it is not a celebration. It’s an ordinary meal break, but with everyone sharing their sack lunch.
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The first time this comic ran I received more than one e-mail from readers who had worked at McDonalds, claiming that the reason their Diet Coke tastes better is that they clean the soda fountain and supply lines according to Coca-Cola’s guidelines.
Whether that’s true or not, it’s a great piece of PR for McDonalds to put out there. “We’re not saying our competitors’ restaurants are filthy. Your taste buds are saying it. We’re just agreeing.”
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Yes, I wrote this after watching a Christmas choral performance. Yes, I stood there, too distracted by my disdain for the conductor to enjoy the music.
He just looked so nauseatingly pleased with himself, standing with his back to the audience, waving his fingers while other people sang. Then, when the song was over, he took a big theatrical bow as the audience applauded. I wanted to shout, “Nobody’s applauding you, jackass! Now sit down, you’re blocking my view of the talented people!”
There are those who have heard that story and accused me of not having much Christmas spirit.
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When I wrote this, Missy and I lived in Orlando. Designing a city to be a great place to visit sort of makes it a bizarre place to live. For example, there is a high school across the street from one of the back walls of Universal Islands of Adventure. You can see the spires of Hogwarts castle from the school’s parking lot. You can hear the riders on the rollercoasters screaming as you drive past the football field. Can you imagine what torture that must be for the students on a pleasant spring day? Growing up in Eastern Washington I used to sit in class and stare longingly out the window, and I was looking at asparagus fields and feed lots.
Note from Missy: I went into my photo archives and found a picture of a little bird licking inside Scott’s ear. Man, I miss that one specific part of Gatorland.
Luckily, George Lucas is no longer involved in the production of new Star Wars films, and as such the newer movies generate zero controversy or complaints.
Whenever someone publicly declares that the latest whatever has RUINED Star Wars, I like to think that George Lucas calls Kathleen Kennedy and just laughs.
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Ric actually has highly refined taste in music, which is why it pleases me to suggest that he loves Right Said Fred.
Ric is a Jazz aficionado. (I prefer to call them “Jazzies.” He prefers it when I don’t.) He subscribes to a magazine about the state of Jazz music and the careers of the great Jazz musicians of our day. The way he tells it, the magazine is a monthly litany of apathy, poverty, and degradation.
It is called Downbeat, which he agrees with me, is apt.
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I believe that the best way to act after you’ve told a joke is to act like there was no joke, whether the joke was successful or not. If the joke didn’t work, no amount of explaining the premise or pressing your audience to “lighten up” will save it; and if the joke worked, making a face, laughing at your own wit, or reminding people what a great joke you just told will only kill whatever laugh and positive feelings you might have created.
This is just an opinion.
The opinion of a man who is sitting here writing about a series of jokes he came up with nearly a decade ago, thus ignoring his own advice.
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I wrote this after spending eight hours working closely with a coworker who was blasted on cold meds. It was a pain doing a major portion of her work, but the fun of watching her spend the day groggily insisting that the medication wasn’t having any effect on her more than made up for it.
Note from Missy: The last line in the first panel just made me LOL; I’m so glad Scott gave it to me. Scott didn’t hear me LOL, though, because he’s wearing his VR helmet and headphones, playing Star Trek: Bridge Crew. That particular punchline writes itself.
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Real, reliable production of the comic ramped up in 2006. This comic ran at the end of 2010, so by this point I’d had three years of replying to multiple helpful readers pointing out that I had put the wrong copyright date on the comic. They really did! Multiple people! Every year, every comic that had the earlier copyright date. Some of them got surprisingly snotty about it.
The sheer repetition of the issue is what caused my tone to turn so combative.
If I ever am in a position to publicly berate someone, I hope I have the wherewithal to do it while wearing a smoking jacket and an ascot.
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