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How to Gloat Over Your Captured Enemy

May 15, 2017 by Scott Meyer

 I could have done a full comic on the concept of a stun ray set to kill.

“If it kills them, it’s a kill ray.”

“No, it stuns them to death.”

“But it still kills them!”

“Yes! that’s the point of the kill setting.”

Looking at the comic, something struck me as odd about it. It took a while before I realized that the Emperor doesn’t get the snot beat out of him in this one! I think, given his record, we have to classify that as a “win.”

 

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May 15, 2017 /Scott Meyer

How to Tell a Riveting Story

May 12, 2017 by Scott Meyer

Mullet Boss’s dialog in panel one is, sadly, the actual climax of an actual story a coworker told me. As in the comic, he was doing this to save a smaller, relatively defenseless dog, but still, I think he could tell from the look on my face that I didn’t think the actions he described were quite as heroic as he did.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad he saved the smaller dog. I was just uncomfortable with the glee he took in describing his assault on the Doberman, at length, while acting it out, and imitating the sounds it made.

 

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May 12, 2017 /Scott Meyer

How to Help Someone Improve Their Plan

May 10, 2017 by Scott Meyer

After this comic ran, I received the following tweet from Grant Imahara:

“Hey, @binstructions great comic! How did you know?? ;)”

I thought that was tremendously classy of him, considering I had pretty much accused him of humping a machine.

 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

May 10, 2017 /Scott Meyer

How to Create a Spinoff

May 08, 2017 by Scott Meyer

Why has no toy company put out an infant/toddler activity center based on Darth Vader’s chest-mounted control panel? Have each button and switch trigger a different sound or light effect. You’d hang it over the side of their playpen. It’s a terrible idea, but it would sell.

 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

May 08, 2017 /Scott Meyer

How to Catch Up with an Old Acquaintance

May 05, 2017 by Scott Meyer

The person I’m talking to in this comic is a guy I worked with at one time, but we worked at a pretty nice place. Having someone talk all the time about how good his job is doesn’t make for a very funny comic strip, so I made my fictional workplace a dysfunctional dump.

I only used use the drawings of my work friend a few times, but one of those times, I had him ask if he could “put on a Speedo and ride me to Thailand,” so I think he suffered enough.

May 05, 2017 /Scott Meyer

How to Enjoy Collecting Things

May 03, 2017 by Scott Meyer

Here, in panel two of this comic, you can see the larval beginnings of the Knifeketeer.

Oh man, I can’t wait until the super hero comics really kick in. Just sayin’.

Note from Missy: The chain mail gloves are the only fictitious garment in the last panel. Scott does, in fact, own multiple fezzes, more than one luchador mask, and a smoking jacket.

 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

May 03, 2017 /Scott Meyer

How to Write Fan Fiction

May 01, 2017 by Scott Meyer

When I was a child, my father was a bit of a pipe smoker. He had a wooden pipe rack, and a selection of a few pipes. His favorite was a Calabash, the kind of pipe Sherlock Holmes smoked (in the old black and white movies, at least).

Then, we were burglarized. They didn't take much (we weren't exactly wealthy) but they did take Dad's Sherlock Holmes pipe, mostly for the irony, I have to assume. 

Hey, if you’re interested in a supernatural, and comedic interpretation of Sherlock Holmes, an old friend of mine wrote a book you might enjoy.

Note from Missy: Also, the second book in the Warlock Holmes series is coming out May 16, 2017. 😊

May 01, 2017 /Scott Meyer

How to Prevail in a Battle of Wills

April 28, 2017 by Scott Meyer

Our experience has been that some cats just reach an age where they start throwing up occasionally. One of our cats fell into that category.

Even though I consider myself to be tremendously lazy, I eventually decided that it was better to clean the mess immediately. Waiting only allowed it to dry into the carpet, or increased the chances that I would forget where it was and step in it. Both of those outcomes were worth avoiding.

 

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April 28, 2017 /Scott Meyer

How to Recover from the Failure of Your Mobile Phone

April 26, 2017 by Scott Meyer

The phone I had that broke was an early HTC model that was terrible from day one. The older phone I went back to was my trusty Palm Treo.

My Treo was made in 2003. It had a touch screen and a web browser. It could handle e-mails, and text messages. It played MP3s, and video files. I read books on it, and could open and edit PDFs, Word, and Excel files.

It did all of this years before the iPhone was introduced.

That’s why I’ve always said that what made the iPhone special wasn’t anything that it could do. It was the fact that it did many of those things well. The Treo didn’t. It was a fine e-mail machine, but almost everything else it did was severely compromised.

Also, when you held it up next to a first-generation iPhone, the Treo looked like an import from the 1960s Soviet Union. If I still had it, all I’d have to do is spray it with copper metallic paint and it would be steampunk.

 

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April 26, 2017 /Scott Meyer

How to Tell If Someone Is Dangerously Crazy

April 24, 2017 by Scott Meyer

This comic has what is possibly the best first panel of any comic I ever wrote.

A few weeks after this comic ran, a nationally syndicated comic did a strip based on the same idea. A few readers pointed it out, but I chose not to make a big deal out of it. I’ve been in the “trying desperately to think of something funny to say” business long enough to know that this stuff happens.

Right now, all around the world, there are thousands of comedians, writers, and cartoonists trying their hardest to come up with an original funny idea. It’s inevitable that two people will get a similar idea around the same time occasionally. Plagiarism is, of course, completely unacceptable, but the syndicated cartoonist in this case does original work, and their execution of the idea was different enough that I was happy to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I may seem overly trusting to you, but I’ve been on the opposite side of this problem more than once. A couple of times when I was a comedian, I had people (one of whom I had never heard of, and another whose writing I had ZERO respect for) accuse me of stealing from them. I also once did a comic about the fact that my middle name is Oscar, and I ended up doing a joke that was very similar to a preexisting comic from the excellent webcomic Perry Bible Fellowship.

Heck, just a couple of weeks ago, I wrote a commentary on this very website where I discussed my attitude toward Millennials, and a couple of days later, after I’d written it but before it posted, the author John Scalzi wrote a very similar opinion on his blog.

These things happen. You just have to make sure they aren’t happening deliberately.

 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

April 24, 2017 /Scott Meyer
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