How to Engage in Pre-Fight Smack Talk

There was an arcade game called Violence Fight.

I’ll provide a link to a video of the gameplay in a moment, but before I do, you know how sometimes when something is translated from one language to another, some of the beauty or meaning of the original is diminished, and we say that something was “lost in translation?” I’m pretty sure that in the case of Violence Fight, a great deal was gained in translation.

Here’s the link. It should start a couple of minutes into the video. Please wait through the still image of the stage magician and the shiny shirtless man pointing out at the viewer, declaring “Next you!” You’ll be rewarded with the honor of watching an epic fight between two men named “Bad Blue” and “Lick Joe.” 

 

 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Wring All of the Meaning Out of an Old Saying

The first time I ever heard the song You Can’t Always Get What You Want was at a high school pep rally. My mother mostly listened to Johnny Paycheck. My father preferred Polkas. Neither of them really liked . . . music.

Anyway, about the pep rally. Our basketball team was set to play another basketball team, and we were holding a rally to let our basketball team know that we hoped they did good at basketball. As part of the entertainment, the pep squad had prepared what I can only describe as a “skit.” (Note: if you ever want to make a professional comedian angry, whether they’re a stand-up, an improviser, or an actor, call their performance a skit. NOBODY likes that!)

Sorry, I got off topic. The “skit” in question was built on the never-fail comedic principal that taking two jocks, putting them in dresses, and making them dance is a one-way ticket to hilarity. The two poor saps in question danced to “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” About halfway through, it occurred to me that the thing they wanted, but couldn’t get, was for the song to end after the first chorus, instead of playing for its entire length.

I learned many lessons about comedy at that pep rally.

 

 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Unify Newtonian Physics and Quantum Mechanics

I find physics to be a fascinating topic. I have, at times, wondered if I would find it even more interesting if I really understood it.

I did once have a job where one of my superiors would drive his car in occasionally, and would have me move his car every hour and a half so that he wouldn’t get a ticket. It was a bit menial, and I didn’t feel good about helping a much wealthier man avoid paying for parking, but on the plus side, I would get several chances a day to pass gas in my boss’s car! That, my friends, is priceless. Crass, but priceless!

 

 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Demonstrate Your Enthusiasm for a Movie

I still say that if they’d only had the will to make it, that product would have sold.

Rereading this comic, I got to thinking about the rubber Hulk fists. I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I prefer the Thing over the Hulk. Just to see if they were available, I did a quick google search for “rubber thing fist.” Looking at the results, I had to laugh, and ask myself what I actually expected when I punched those words into a search engine in the first place.

Note from Missy: I love the sneaky “you could use a second t-shirt” in the second panel. Classic dis!

 

 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).