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How to Maintain a Good Mood

December 16, 2016 by Scott Meyer

One interesting thing about being a morning person is that enjoying mornings makes the other people around me enjoy their mornings even less. As the people around me get grumpier and grumpier, it tends to put a damper on my good mood, which acts as sort of a natural braking mechanism, stopping the vicious cycle before someone tries to strangle me.

Another interesting thing I can tell you is that in the first panel my left hand appears to have been replaced by some sort of trilobite.

Note from Missy: I don’t have much recollection of these old strips, so for the most part I’m reading them again for the first time. And for some reason, me in that second panel running the same checklist and announcing it made me laugh until tears squirted out my eyes.

December 16, 2016 /Scott Meyer

How to Find an Innovative Solution to a Seemingly Intractable Problem

December 14, 2016 by Scott Meyer

Four panels of me arguing with a wealthy man who has terrible hair and questionable theories about global climate change. It was funnier to me eight years ago, for some reason.

December 14, 2016 /Scott Meyer

How to Get Vindication

December 12, 2016 by Scott Meyer

For years, YEARS, I told that story, and I got called a liar more times than I can count. I always wondered, why would I want to make a story like that up? Did they think having seen this ridiculous, disgusting spectacle somehow made me feel like a big man?

“You think you’re cool, with your sports car and your successful career? Well wait until you hear my tale of gore, degradation, and animal husbandry! Then we’ll know who’s cool!”

Anyway, I’ll include a link to the relevant clip of Dirty Jobs, but I don’t recommend that you watch it.

https://youtu.be/klWeg2VDNPE?t=23

December 12, 2016 /Scott Meyer

How to Analyze a Song

December 09, 2016 by Scott Meyer

Since his death, I’ve sort of discovered David Bowie. See, by the time I started paying attention to music that my parents didn’t like (that is anything but Waylon Jennings or polkas), Bowie was in his “Dancing in the Streets” phase, which did not make me want to dig into his back catalog.

Shortly after he died I watched The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, and spent two weeks driving Missy crazy humming “Life on Mars.” That song really strikes a chord for me. It is, after all, the freakiest show.

Note from Missy: Dang, now I want to watch Labyrinth. For the 50th time.

December 09, 2016 /Scott Meyer

How to Make It Clear That You're Joking

December 07, 2016 by Scott Meyer

This is one of those comics where I know that my intention was that three loafish full-grown men talking about ponies and boys was funny, but looking at it now, I can see where this comic might be construed as homophobic. I figured that in this case it would be more productive to admit to it and make my position clear than to just sweep it under the rug.

I will say this, though: Tiger Beat is an inherently funny name for a magazine. It doesn’t matter that it’s about teen idols. You could rename the Journal of the American Medical Association Tiger Beat and it would be just as funny, if not funnier.

Note from Missy: Huh, I didn’t see the possible homophobia angle on this either. Likely because I equate ponies and boys with 12-year-old girls. It feels the same as when I, a middle-aged woman, joke about being a 12-year-old boy because I giggled at a fart joke.  (Changing topic: I seem to recall that Tiger Beat had some of the best pull-out posters of dreamy ’80s dudes. Way better than Sassy or 16. Though in hindsight, those magazines all learned their centerfold game from Playboy and Penthouse, which feels disturbing in its own way.)

December 07, 2016 /Scott Meyer

How to Better Yourself

December 05, 2016 by Scott Meyer

I LOVED the original Japanese Iron Chef. This comic commemorates one of my favorite things that ever happened on the show. They claimed that the Chairman was boycotting the show because his Iron Chefs had lost several matches in a row, but I’ve always assumed that he looked at the special ingredient and refused to have anything to do with it. Anyway, they made poor Hattori-San . . . well, see for yourself.

https://youtu.be/fyfvs-7ljIQ?t=2m49s

My favorite part is how the guy doing the translation sounds embarrassed to be saying what he’s being made to say.

Note from Missy: Around the House of Meyer, we will still occasionally say the word “piglets” in just that sad tone of voice. Also, OMG, how did I forget about “I had my Eustachian tubes tied, now I can’t hear kids”? LOL, Scott Meyer. LOL.

December 05, 2016 /Scott Meyer

How to Keep Your Job in Perspective

December 02, 2016 by Scott Meyer

Being a rodeo clown might not be the worst job in the world, but it’s close enough that most people see it as such. It’s dangerous. You have to wear a humiliating costume. Your workplace smells terrible.  Some guy in tight jeans makes a huge animal mad, then you protect him from said angry animal. Go through all of that and at the end of the day, you watch the guy who made an animal mad for the longest get a trophy.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

December 02, 2016 /Scott Meyer

How to Deal with Something You Dread

November 30, 2016 by Scott Meyer

Phil Collins once told a story that I think about often. He had read an interview with Roger Waters (formerly of Pink Floyd) in which Waters said something less-than-complimentary about Genesis. Phil called him and asked what the big idea was.

Waters said, “I’m sorry. That comment was supposed to be off the record.”

Phil pointed out that that didn’t really do anything to minimize the insult.

I don’t know why I like that story so much, other than that I find it comforting that these super-successful rock stars still behave just like the rest of us.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

November 30, 2016 /Scott Meyer

How to Advertise Windows Vista

November 28, 2016 by Scott Meyer

I upgraded to Windows Vista immediately after it became available, and kept it until Windows 7 came out. Sure, it had a few quirks that were weird to get used to, but the only real complaint I ever had about it was that I got sick of constantly being told by people who hadn’t used it how bad it was.

This strip was made during what I like to think of as the golden age of Hodgman, back when John Hodgman was playing the PC in the Get a Mac ads, and writing books and doing interviews in his guise as the world’s foremost expert in the field of “complete world knowledge.” If you’ve never read his first book, The Areas of My Expertise, I strongly recommend it.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

November 28, 2016 /Scott Meyer

How to Correct a Coworker's Behavior

November 25, 2016 by Scott Meyer

A long time ago, I worked at a Blockbuster Video. One day, the manager told me to break down some boxes. After the manager left the room, a coworker said to me, “You know why he tells you to do stuff like that? Because you’ll do it.”

At the time, I thought, That’s why I’ll have this job longer than you will.

Of course, it was a job at Blockbuster Video. The chain no longer exists. And even if it did, I wouldn’t want to still be in that job. Maybe I’d have worked my way up to managing the store, but that didn’t look like a very good job either.

I think I had a point when I started writing this. It might have been that I had a terrible job, which required me to do boring and unpleasant things, but that by doing it well I at least was able to stave off the ignominy of being fired from it.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

November 25, 2016 /Scott Meyer
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