How to Explain Something to Someone Who Doesn't Get It

I’m quite proud of this comic. I like that in the end I’m the one not “getting it.”

I’ve had a few jobs where I was occasionally asked to stay late. I won’t claim to have always liked it, but I always preferred it to being told that I had to stay late. It’s just part of my mental make-up. I don’t think it’s laziness so much as resentment.

I remember when I was in elementary school and my teacher introduced the idea of homework. I instantly recognized it as a terrible injustice. Here I’m already spending all day in this stuffy room with you and a bunch of other kids, doing whatever you tell me to do, and now you’re telling me I have to go home and do more stuff you didn’t get around to? Seems to me like you need to work harder, teach.

It is not an attitude that served me well.

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How to Explain Something to Someone Who Doesn't Get It

I’m quite proud of this comic. I like that in the end I’m the one not “getting it.”

I’ve had a few jobs where I was occasionally asked to stay late. I won’t claim to have always liked it, but I always preferred it to being told that I had to stay late. It’s just part of my mental make-up. I don’t think it’s laziness so much as resentment.

I remember when I was in elementary school and my teacher introduced the idea of homework. I instantly recognized it as a terrible injustice. Here I’m already spending all day in this stuffy room with you and a bunch of other kids, doing whatever you tell me to do, and now you’re telling me I have to go home and do more stuff you didn’t get around to? Seems to me like you need to work harder, teach.

It is not an attitude that served me well.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Develop an Invention

I still say that alarm clock would work. Really though, the most effective alarm sound would be a recording of your spouse saying, “The alarm didn’t go off!” That wakes you up fast.

I once had a cat creep up to me while I was napping, stick her little nose in my ear, and sneeze. I’ve never gone from fast asleep to wide awake so quickly in my life. Cats trained to do this could be used instead of smelling salts to wake up people who have passed out. If someone I love is ever in a coma, I am going to try sneezing in their ear to wake them.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Develop an Invention

I still say that alarm clock would work. Really though, the most effective alarm sound would be a recording of your spouse saying, “The alarm didn’t go off!” That wakes you up fast.

I once had a cat creep up to me while I was napping, stick her little nose in my ear, and sneeze. I’ve never gone from fast asleep to wide awake so quickly in my life. Cats trained to do this could be used instead of smelling salts to wake up people who have passed out. If someone I love is ever in a coma, I am going to try sneezing in their ear to wake them.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Talk to a Farmer

Please don’t read this commentary if you’re having breakfast or drinking a latte.

I’ve joked about it many times, but I do find the entire idea of drinking cow milk horrifying. It’s just my weird mental thing, and should not be taken as an attack on milk drinkers.

For me, the idea of squeezing fluid out of a live animal is deeply unsettling to begin with. Then the fact that we’ve bred those animals so that the parts we squeeze are larger, and will produce more of the fluid, makes it worse. And then we developed suction-based machines made of stainless steel and rubber hoses to squeeze the animals more effectively.

I think the worst part is that I’ve been pretty close to more than one cow. I do not find them pleasant. Milk is white and clean-looking, yet it comes out of a cow. The cows I’ve been around have been dirty, have smelled awful, and have had glassy eyes and big gooey tongues like Jabba the Hut.

I’ve also been fairly close to more than one dairy farmer, and while most of them didn’t fit that description, more than one of them did.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Talk to a Farmer

Please don’t read this commentary if you’re having breakfast or drinking a latte.

I’ve joked about it many times, but I do find the entire idea of drinking cow milk horrifying. It’s just my weird mental thing, and should not be taken as an attack on milk drinkers.

For me, the idea of squeezing fluid out of a live animal is deeply unsettling to begin with. Then the fact that we’ve bred those animals so that the parts we squeeze are larger, and will produce more of the fluid, makes it worse. And then we developed suction-based machines made of stainless steel and rubber hoses to squeeze the animals more effectively.

I think the worst part is that I’ve been pretty close to more than one cow. I do not find them pleasant. Milk is white and clean-looking, yet it comes out of a cow. The cows I’ve been around have been dirty, have smelled awful, and have had glassy eyes and big gooey tongues like Jabba the Hut.

I’ve also been fairly close to more than one dairy farmer, and while most of them didn’t fit that description, more than one of them did.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Wish Someone Luck

A lot of readers thought she was flipping me off in the second panel. Of course, she isn’t. Though, the idea that she’d blast me with one of the highest-powered obscene gestures while calling me a “jerk” is pretty funny.

For those who are disappointed that she’s not “flipping” me “the bird,” rest assured, the fact that numerous people made it clear that they couldn’t tell from my drawing exactly what gesture the character was making was more insulting to me than any mere finger.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Wish Someone Luck

A lot of readers thought she was flipping me off in the second panel. Of course, she isn’t. Though, the idea that she’d blast me with one of the highest-powered obscene gestures while calling me a “jerk” is pretty funny.

For those who are disappointed that she’s not “flipping” me “the bird,” rest assured, the fact that numerous people made it clear that they couldn’t tell from my drawing exactly what gesture the character was making was more insulting to me than any mere finger.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Converse With Someone You Don't Want to Talk to

I really like the last panel! I might have to put it in a book. If someone else had written it, that would be plagiarism, but since I wrote the comic it’s just laziness. Of course, now that I’ve told all of you that it’ll be in a book, I could call it an Easter Egg, or an inside joke.

Hmm. This opens up a lot of possibilities!

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Converse With Someone You Don't Want to Talk to

I really like the last panel! I might have to put it in a book. If someone else had written it, that would be plagiarism, but since I wrote the comic it’s just laziness. Of course, now that I’ve told all of you that it’ll be in a book, I could call it an Easter Egg, or an inside joke.

Hmm. This opens up a lot of possibilities!

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).