How to Listen to Other People Talk About Their Vacation

I understand the allure of fantasy camps where you pretend to be a professional ball player, but I think it would be even better to go to a camp where you pretend to be a team owner. You sleep in a 5-star hotel, spend the day in a plush office having well-dressed professionals suck up to you, then you go down to the ballpark, meet your favorite player, and threaten to fire him if he doesn’t win.

Note from Missy: It occurs to me that “shagging fly balls” could be a euphemism.

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How to Listen to Other People Talk About Their Vacation

I understand the allure of fantasy camps where you pretend to be a professional ball player, but I think it would be even better to go to a camp where you pretend to be a team owner. You sleep in a 5-star hotel, spend the day in a plush office having well-dressed professionals suck up to you, then you go down to the ballpark, meet your favorite player, and threaten to fire him if he doesn’t win.

Note from Missy: It occurs to me that “shagging fly balls” could be a euphemism.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Be Patient

This comic was written right after Missy and I attended the EPCOT Food and Wine Festival for the first time. A major beer maker sponsored a half hour long tasting where you received your samples after a twenty-five-minute-long lecture about hops and water filtration. The result for me was that I sat there feeling hot and frustrated until the last minute, when I shot-gunned four small glasses of beer and fled back out into the park.

The Food and Wine festival is quite enjoyable. I miss it. Yeah, the portions are tiny and the prices are high, but where else can you have a meal made up of bratwurst, escargot, cheddar soup, and baklava.

Food and Wine was also the first place I ever saw a full-grown man vomit while sprinting.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Be Patient

This comic was written right after Missy and I attended the EPCOT Food and Wine Festival for the first time. A major beer maker sponsored a half hour long tasting where you received your samples after a twenty-five-minute-long lecture about hops and water filtration. The result for me was that I sat there feeling hot and frustrated until the last minute, when I shot-gunned four small glasses of beer and fled back out into the park.

The Food and Wine festival is quite enjoyable. I miss it. Yeah, the portions are tiny and the prices are high, but where else can you have a meal made up of bratwurst, escargot, cheddar soup, and baklava.

Food and Wine was also the first place I ever saw a full-grown man vomit while sprinting.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Deal with Boredom

I have friend whose wife basically strong armed him into going to marriage counseling. No, it’s not who you think … though he did once have a wife strong arm him into counselling.

Sorry, got off track there.

When my friend would discuss his feelings with the counsellor, they were mostly feelings of resentment that he had to pay for the honor of sitting there, sharing his innermost feelings with this person he had no urge to talk to.

My friend’s marriage didn’t last very long beyond that.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Deal with Boredom

I have friend whose wife basically strong armed him into going to marriage counseling. No, it’s not who you think … though he did once have a wife strong arm him into counselling.

Sorry, got off track there.

When my friend would discuss his feelings with the counsellor, they were mostly feelings of resentment that he had to pay for the honor of sitting there, sharing his innermost feelings with this person he had no urge to talk to.

My friend’s marriage didn’t last very long beyond that.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Prioritize Your Friends

I’m not a sports fan, but I do enjoy going to a game occasionally. Something about being around that many people who are into something is infectious. You find yourself getting caught up in the emotion of the crowd. Pretty soon, things that couldn’t be less important to you seem like the most important thing in the world.

It can be a lot of fun, but that’s also how riots happen.

I kid. I’m not really saying that sports fandom is a form of mass hysteria, but that would explain why otherwise rational people will spend that much money on an order of extra-soggy nachos.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Prioritize Your Friends

I’m not a sports fan, but I do enjoy going to a game occasionally. Something about being around that many people who are into something is infectious. You find yourself getting caught up in the emotion of the crowd. Pretty soon, things that couldn’t be less important to you seem like the most important thing in the world.

It can be a lot of fun, but that’s also how riots happen.

I kid. I’m not really saying that sports fandom is a form of mass hysteria, but that would explain why otherwise rational people will spend that much money on an order of extra-soggy nachos.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Keep from Losing Your Temper

Is there anything less likely to calm an angry person down than telling them to calm down? Does that ever work?

Only once have I ever lost my temper and called a coworker an idiot to his face. In my defense, he tried to tell me that the theme from Raiders of the Lost Ark was the theme from Superman. I think we can all agree that my actions were perfectly justified.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Keep from Losing Your Temper

Is there anything less likely to calm an angry person down than telling them to calm down? Does that ever work?

Only once have I ever lost my temper and called a coworker an idiot to his face. In my defense, he tried to tell me that the theme from Raiders of the Lost Ark was the theme from Superman. I think we can all agree that my actions were perfectly justified.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).