How to Destroy Society

Wow. Just … wow. This comic was written eight years ago, but panel two still works without even changing the candidate’s name. It probably works better now, because most people would rather listen to Merle Haggard with Trump than with Mitt Romney. Romney seems like he’d rather listen to classical. Trump wouldn’t care what was on the jukebox as long as it was ladies’ night.

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How to Destroy Society

Wow. Just … wow. This comic was written eight years ago, but panel two still works without even changing the candidate’s name. It probably works better now, because most people would rather listen to Merle Haggard with Trump than with Mitt Romney. Romney seems like he’d rather listen to classical. Trump wouldn’t care what was on the jukebox as long as it was ladies’ night.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Entertain Out-of-Town Guests

I have a picture somewhere of me standing next to a Gorn. Not a real Gorn. There are no real Gorn. It was a fake Gorn. I do not have a picture of me standing next to Jonathan Frakes, not even a fake Jonathan Frakes.

I once nearly accosted two strangers at the Science Fiction and Fantasy Hall of Fame because one of them misidentified a life-sized model of Gort as Twiki. I’m still amazed at the restraint I showed.

The photos for the drawings of my mother were taken the first time she came to visit is in Florida. The scooter was a rental. I used to poo-poo scooters, but watching mom use that one changed my mind. If you’re going to any large theme park and any member of your party has the slightest issue that makes walking several miles difficult, I strongly suggest renting one. Not only does it make the scooter rider’s trip more enjoyable for them, because they can keep up, it makes everyone else’s trip more enjoyable, because the scooter rider can keep up.

Also, the scooter doesn’t care how many purses, coats, and souvenirs it carries. You essentially take the least mobile member of your party and turn them into a pack mule.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Entertain Out-of-Town Guests

I have a picture somewhere of me standing next to a Gorn. Not a real Gorn. There are no real Gorn. It was a fake Gorn. I do not have a picture of me standing next to Jonathan Frakes, not even a fake Jonathan Frakes.

I once nearly accosted two strangers at the Science Fiction and Fantasy Hall of Fame because one of them misidentified a life-sized model of Gort as Twiki. I’m still amazed at the restraint I showed.

The photos for the drawings of my mother were taken the first time she came to visit is in Florida. The scooter was a rental. I used to poo-poo scooters, but watching mom use that one changed my mind. If you’re going to any large theme park and any member of your party has the slightest issue that makes walking several miles difficult, I strongly suggest renting one. Not only does it make the scooter rider’s trip more enjoyable for them, because they can keep up, it makes everyone else’s trip more enjoyable, because the scooter rider can keep up.

Also, the scooter doesn’t care how many purses, coats, and souvenirs it carries. You essentially take the least mobile member of your party and turn them into a pack mule.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Show Off a Scar

I have a scar on the back of my head. It is the result of a minibike accident when I was a child. When I had hair, the scar was hidden. When I shave my head it isn’t particularly noticeable. If my head has anything more than half a day’s growth of stubble, the scar stands out because hair won’t grow on the scar tissue.

I, a bald man, have a scar on my head that only shows when my hair grows out a bit.

Life is confusing.

Note from Missy: Is it just me, or is the woman in this comic Kaci Aitchison, news personality for Seattle’s KCPQ 13?

Note from Scott: Yes it is, but I’ve never been happy with the drawings I did of her.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Show Off a Scar

I have a scar on the back of my head. It is the result of a minibike accident when I was a child. When I had hair, the scar was hidden. When I shave my head it isn’t particularly noticeable. If my head has anything more than half a day’s growth of stubble, the scar stands out because hair won’t grow on the scar tissue.

I, a bald man, have a scar on my head that only shows when my hair grows out a bit.

Life is confusing.

Note from Missy: Is it just me, or is the woman in this comic Kaci Aitchison, news personality for Seattle’s KCPQ 13?

Note from Scott: Yes it is, but I’ve never been happy with the drawings I did of her.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Share a Profound Insight

Of course, the cat sitting on the laundry and purring doesn’t mean that the cat loves my pants. It could mean that the cat will sit on any lumpy, soft, warm mass. That doesn’t make me feel any better, but it is true.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Share a Profound Insight

Of course, the cat sitting on the laundry and purring doesn’t mean that the cat loves my pants. It could mean that the cat will sit on any lumpy, soft, warm mass. That doesn’t make me feel any better, but it is true.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Talk to a Sick Person

This was the third comic where I attempted to draw from a 3D model instead of a real person. I used the drawings I had a few more times, but I think this is when I gave up on the technique. It’s amazing how much effort I put into finding ways to not get good at drawing.

The first time I got food poisoning, it was after eating with another comedian in Green Bay (There was a great club in Green Bay. I always had a good time there). I was the middle act; he was the headliner. There was sort of a tradition that at some point during a weeklong club engagement the headliner would buy the middle dinner, and he offered to take me out that night. He, of course, had the right to choose where we would go. He picked a bar that advertised fifteen-cent buffalo wings.

Cheap chicken, cooked quickly, and smothered in a sauce that coincidentally disguises the color of blood. In retrospect, it would have been amazing if I hadn’t gotten sick.

Note from Missy: And now I want you to share the rest of the story. How far did you have to drive the next day to get to your next gig?

Note from Scott: We ate the wings on the last night of the engagement. The next night I had a “Showcase” (A.K.A. a set you do for free so a club owner can decide if he wants to hire you) in Minneapolis at an amazing club I desperately wanted to get into. I threw up along the side of the road in three different states in one day. By the time I did the showcase I was half delirious. I barely remember it now, but it was the best showcase of my entire career. The club owner hired me on the spot.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Talk to a Sick Person

This was the third comic where I attempted to draw from a 3D model instead of a real person. I used the drawings I had a few more times, but I think this is when I gave up on the technique. It’s amazing how much effort I put into finding ways to not get good at drawing.

The first time I got food poisoning, it was after eating with another comedian in Green Bay (There was a great club in Green Bay. I always had a good time there). I was the middle act; he was the headliner. There was sort of a tradition that at some point during a weeklong club engagement the headliner would buy the middle dinner, and he offered to take me out that night. He, of course, had the right to choose where we would go. He picked a bar that advertised fifteen-cent buffalo wings.

Cheap chicken, cooked quickly, and smothered in a sauce that coincidentally disguises the color of blood. In retrospect, it would have been amazing if I hadn’t gotten sick.

Note from Missy: And now I want you to share the rest of the story. How far did you have to drive the next day to get to your next gig?

Note from Scott: We ate the wings on the last night of the engagement. The next night I had a “Showcase” (A.K.A. a set you do for free so a club owner can decide if he wants to hire you) in Minneapolis at an amazing club I desperately wanted to get into. I threw up along the side of the road in three different states in one day. By the time I did the showcase I was half delirious. I barely remember it now, but it was the best showcase of my entire career. The club owner hired me on the spot.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).