How to Express Condolences

I came up with the idea for ROFG and couldn’t wait to share it. At the time I worked days and Missy worked nights, so I had to wait until she got home. As soon as she did, I told her. It was one of the best laughs I ever got out of her with an idea for a comic.

I’d also like you all to know that we did eventually put that cat on a diet.

Note from Missy: [1] That flip phone really dates this comic. [2] As does the cat; he passed away in 2013. What a great cat he was!

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How to Express Condolences

I came up with the idea for ROFG and couldn’t wait to share it. At the time I worked days and Missy worked nights, so I had to wait until she got home. As soon as she did, I told her. It was one of the best laughs I ever got out of her with an idea for a comic.

I’d also like you all to know that we did eventually put that cat on a diet.

Note from Missy: [1] That flip phone really dates this comic. [2] As does the cat; he passed away in 2013. What a great cat he was!

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Pick a Code Phrase

If you don’t know the song, the last panel must make it look as if I’ve lost my mind.

Panel three references an old saying, “The ox is slow, but the earth is patient.” I believed it to be an ancient Buddhist proverb. Doing a little (very little) internet research leads me to believe it may have been written for the Tom Selleck movie High Road to China. Makes me feel better about having misremembered it as referring to multiple oxen instead of one ox, and for the fact that I originally read it in a Batman comic.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Pick a Code Phrase

If you don’t know the song, the last panel must make it look as if I’ve lost my mind.

Panel three references an old saying, “The ox is slow, but the earth is patient.” I believed it to be an ancient Buddhist proverb. Doing a little (very little) internet research leads me to believe it may have been written for the Tom Selleck movie High Road to China. Makes me feel better about having misremembered it as referring to multiple oxen instead of one ox, and for the fact that I originally read it in a Batman comic.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Tell Your Spouse About Your Day

Amongst my most cherished memories of my career as a stand-up comic was the time I was working with a comedy juggler, and the stage turned out to have a 6’5” ceiling. A tall man would have had to duck. I could stand upright, but couldn’t put my hands above my head. The juggler had to do his entire show barely throwing the balls into the air at all, meaning that his act was much more difficult than usual and much, much less impressive to watch. Good times.

There was another enjoyable evening when I worked with a magician who forgot to load his jacket with all of his props. His entire act that night consisted of him introducing a trick, patting his pockets, apologizing for not being able to do the trick, then moving on to the next trick, which he could not do. The only problem was that I had to follow him, and there was no nothing I could say that would be funnier than what he’d done.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Tell Your Spouse About Your Day

Amongst my most cherished memories of my career as a stand-up comic was the time I was working with a comedy juggler, and the stage turned out to have a 6’5” ceiling. A tall man would have had to duck. I could stand upright, but couldn’t put my hands above my head. The juggler had to do his entire show barely throwing the balls into the air at all, meaning that his act was much more difficult than usual and much, much less impressive to watch. Good times.

There was another enjoyable evening when I worked with a magician who forgot to load his jacket with all of his props. His entire act that night consisted of him introducing a trick, patting his pockets, apologizing for not being able to do the trick, then moving on to the next trick, which he could not do. The only problem was that I had to follow him, and there was no nothing I could say that would be funnier than what he’d done.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Seem Smart

It has been suggested that Missy and I could easily create an effective Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker costume simply by shaving my beard, dyeing her hair red, and putting on lab coats.

I‘m still quite proud of the line “Heat, pressure, and time. The three things that make a diamond, also make a waffle.” It is absolutely true, mind-bogglingly profound, and totally meaningless.

Note from Missy: Meep.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Seem Smart

It has been suggested that Missy and I could easily create an effective Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker costume simply by shaving my beard, dyeing her hair red, and putting on lab coats.

I‘m still quite proud of the line “Heat, pressure, and time. The three things that make a diamond, also make a waffle.” It is absolutely true, mind-bogglingly profound, and totally meaningless.

Note from Missy: Meep.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Deal with a Rash

This was written shortly after we moved to Florida, when I broke out in a terrible rash. I won’t get into the details of the rash, but it was not fun.

At first I was worried that I might be allergic to something in the environment which would make life in Florida unbearable for me. Then I went to the first doctor I ever visited in Florida. His examination room was furnished with folding chairs, and he spent most of the appointment telling me about how his mother had fallen in with a con artist who was cheating the doctor of his inheritance. He assured me that the rash was not an allergic reaction, but I still walked away concerned that life in Florida would be unbearable for me.

Note from Missy: And now that we don’t live in Florida anymore, we can say with confidence that it was only … partially unbearable.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Deal with a Rash

This was written shortly after we moved to Florida, when I broke out in a terrible rash. I won’t get into the details of the rash, but it was not fun.

At first I was worried that I might be allergic to something in the environment which would make life in Florida unbearable for me. Then I went to the first doctor I ever visited in Florida. His examination room was furnished with folding chairs, and he spent most of the appointment telling me about how his mother had fallen in with a con artist who was cheating the doctor of his inheritance. He assured me that the rash was not an allergic reaction, but I still walked away concerned that life in Florida would be unbearable for me.

Note from Missy: And now that we don’t live in Florida anymore, we can say with confidence that it was only … partially unbearable.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).