How to Open a Snack Quietly

I went to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens on the night it premiered. I decided to treat myself, and bought a box of Whoppers. I don’t know why I thought spending five bucks on a box of a candy I would never consider buying in any other setting struck me as a treat, but I guess I was just swept up in the moment.

Anyway, the movie starts, I throw a Whopper in my mouth, bite down, and become convinced that the sound of me chewing is so loud that I must be ruining the movie for everyone within a four seat radius. I spent the first quarter of that movie trying to time my chewing with loud noises. You might think it would spoil the film for me, but it kind of turned the movie into a game.

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How to Open a Snack Quietly

I went to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens on the night it premiered. I decided to treat myself, and bought a box of Whoppers. I don’t know why I thought spending five bucks on a box of a candy I would never consider buying in any other setting struck me as a treat, but I guess I was just swept up in the moment.

Anyway, the movie starts, I throw a Whopper in my mouth, bite down, and become convinced that the sound of me chewing is so loud that I must be ruining the movie for everyone within a four seat radius. I spent the first quarter of that movie trying to time my chewing with loud noises. You might think it would spoil the film for me, but it kind of turned the movie into a game.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Share a Movie You Love with the Person You Love

The film discussed in this strip is, of course, Big Trouble in Little China.

As luck would have it, just last week I talked Missy into watching a movie that I love and she had little or no interest in: The Grand Budapest Hotel.

Yes, I do realize that they are essentially polar opposites, as movies go. You can’t tell me that Monsieur Gustave H. working with Jack Burton wouldn’t be a buddy movie you’d watch.

Note from Missy: OBVS, panel 4 is about That Touch of Mink. Which is an excellent film, but I think of all the Doris Day some guy trying to nail a blonde movies, Pillow Talk remains my favorite. And the delightful Down with Love comes in a close second.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Share a Movie You Love with the Person You Love

The film discussed in this strip is, of course, Big Trouble in Little China.

As luck would have it, just last week I talked Missy into watching a movie that I love and she had little or no interest in: The Grand Budapest Hotel.

Yes, I do realize that they are essentially polar opposites, as movies go. You can’t tell me that Monsieur Gustave H. working with Jack Burton wouldn’t be a buddy movie you’d watch.

Note from Missy: OBVS, panel 4 is about That Touch of Mink. Which is an excellent film, but I think of all the Doris Day some guy trying to nail a blonde movies, Pillow Talk remains my favorite. And the delightful Down with Love comes in a close second.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Slow the Spread of Germs

I know it’s supposed to be better for a number of reasons, but I still can’t get used to the idea of coughing into my elbow. Aside from it looking weird, I would point out that we are raised from an early age to wash our hands often. When was the last time you heard any mother tell her children to wash the inside of their elbow?

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How to Slow the Spread of Germs

I know it’s supposed to be better for a number of reasons, but I still can’t get used to the idea of coughing into my elbow. Aside from it looking weird, I would point out that we are raised from an early age to wash our hands often. When was the last time you heard any mother tell her children to wash the inside of their elbow?

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Explain the Plan

Everyone has a list of things that they’d like to do before they die, but they know that they’ll probably never get the chance. One of the things on my list is to use a model and a pointer to explain an elaborate plan.

I do own a collapsible chrome pointer. It’s one of my favorite possessions. Sometimes it’s handy to be able to point at stuff, and few things focus people’s attention quite like pulling one of those babies out of your pocket and stretching it to its full length.

The only downside to a collapsible chrome pointer is it’s very difficult to discuss using one without it sounding suggestive.

Note from Missy: Scott, you can’t give us the Christmas village porcelain bank without also letting us know what kind of toy/model the getaway car is.

Reply from Scott: It is clearly a model of a Lamborghini Countach. Specifically, it’s the kind of die-cast model that adult men buy when they either know they’ll never be able to afford their dream car, or when they’ve already bought their dream car, but they can’t keep the real car in their office, so they keep the model on their desk and pray every day that someone will ask about it.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Explain the Plan

Everyone has a list of things that they’d like to do before they die, but they know that they’ll probably never get the chance. One of the things on my list is to use a model and a pointer to explain an elaborate plan.

I do own a collapsible chrome pointer. It’s one of my favorite possessions. Sometimes it’s handy to be able to point at stuff, and few things focus people’s attention quite like pulling one of those babies out of your pocket and stretching it to its full length.

The only downside to a collapsible chrome pointer is it’s very difficult to discuss using one without it sounding suggestive.

Note from Missy: Scott, you can’t give us the Christmas village porcelain bank without also letting us know what kind of toy/model the getaway car is.

Reply from Scott: It is clearly a model of a Lamborghini Countach. Specifically, it’s the kind of die-cast model that adult men buy when they either know they’ll never be able to afford their dream car, or when they’ve already bought their dream car, but they can’t keep the real car in their office, so they keep the model on their desk and pray every day that someone will ask about it.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Make It Up to a Friend You've Insulted in Your Comic

Ric and I really did have a conversation about how mean I was to him in the comic, but he was in favor of it, while I felt bad. I really did offer him one panel in which I’d write or draw whatever he wanted within the bounds of good taste, and he really wanted the panel to feature him delivering that speech while wearing “magnificent robes.”

The drawing of him in the robe made me so happy that I later invented Rocket Hat and the Emperor of the Moon just to have an excuse to use it again.

Note from Missy: I like the use of a “next week” callout as a final punchline! Though I don’t think it got used many other times, if any.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Make It Up to a Friend You've Insulted in Your Comic

Ric and I really did have a conversation about how mean I was to him in the comic, but he was in favor of it, while I felt bad. I really did offer him one panel in which I’d write or draw whatever he wanted within the bounds of good taste, and he really wanted the panel to feature him delivering that speech while wearing “magnificent robes.”

The drawing of him in the robe made me so happy that I later invented Rocket Hat and the Emperor of the Moon just to have an excuse to use it again.

Note from Missy: I like the use of a “next week” callout as a final punchline! Though I don’t think it got used many other times, if any.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).