How to Hide Your Scorn

The second Rick appearance!

This one is a bit unfair, in that he’s actually just as big a Star Trek fan as I am. But he’s also a baseball fan, which I am not.

I still say that sports fandom and sci-fi fandom are two sides of the same coin. One group watches people playing pretend, then buys merchandise and wears clothing related to the characters they identify with. The other group watches people playing a game, then buys merchandise and wears clothing related to the players they identify with.

I’m just saying, me shouting at the TV when I saw the last 30 seconds of “The Best of Both Worlds: Part 1” is no more pathetic than my father shouting at the TV because Jim Zorn couldn’t complete a pass. Less pathetic, really. At least Picard becoming a Borg was a surprise.

On an unrelated note, “Scorn Spiral” would make a great name for an album by an emo band.

Note from Missy: Growing up in Seattle, Jim Zorn was the football player whose name I knew the best, probably because of how often people shouted it with rage. Also: definitely the bald dude.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Hide Your Scorn

The second Rick appearance!

This one is a bit unfair, in that he’s actually just as big a Star Trek fan as I am. But he’s also a baseball fan, which I am not.

I still say that sports fandom and sci-fi fandom are two sides of the same coin. One group watches people playing pretend, then buys merchandise and wears clothing related to the characters they identify with. The other group watches people playing a game, then buys merchandise and wears clothing related to the players they identify with.

I’m just saying, me shouting at the TV when I saw the last 30 seconds of “The Best of Both Worlds: Part 1” is no more pathetic than my father shouting at the TV because Jim Zorn couldn’t complete a pass. Less pathetic, really. At least Picard becoming a Borg was a surprise.

On an unrelated note, “Scorn Spiral” would make a great name for an album by an emo band.

Note from Missy: Growing up in Seattle, Jim Zorn was the football player whose name I knew the best, probably because of how often people shouted it with rage. Also: definitely the bald dude.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Accept an Unwanted Gift

We all knew this day would come: the first appearance of Rick!

This was written after I had visited his house, where he had one of those bird clocks. He had recently been given it as a gift. It was still new enough that when it went off it startled him terribly and caused him to momentarily wonder if a bird had gotten into his house. I enjoyed that clock. I’d never want one, but I enjoyed him having it.

Note from Missy: Yay! Rick! (Quite possibly the first time those two words have been said in combination.) Also, I feel like the joke in panel 1 is an homage to Seinfeld and the “Moops.” Yes?

Answer from Scott: Yes.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Accept an Unwanted Gift

We all knew this day would come: the first appearance of Rick!

This was written after I had visited his house, where he had one of those bird clocks. He had recently been given it as a gift. It was still new enough that when it went off it startled him terribly and caused him to momentarily wonder if a bird had gotten into his house. I enjoyed that clock. I’d never want one, but I enjoyed him having it.

Note from Missy: Yay! Rick! (Quite possibly the first time those two words have been said in combination.) Also, I feel like the joke in panel 1 is an homage to Seinfeld and the “Moops.” Yes?

Answer from Scott: Yes.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Handle Surprising Information

Based on a real conversation, I swear! A guy I know told me that he experimented with homosexuality in the ’70s, which, historically, was probably the optimal time to run that particular experiment. One of the best stories I ever heard was a guy I know who went to a Village People concert and ended up going home with the construction worker. Not A construction worker. THE construction worker.

Anyway, back to my friend. I found the story noteworthy not because of the homosexuality, but because, and again, I swear this is true, he gave it up because he was not actually attracted to, and didn’t enjoy having sex with, men. 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Handle Surprising Information

Based on a real conversation, I swear! A guy I know told me that he experimented with homosexuality in the ’70s, which, historically, was probably the optimal time to run that particular experiment. One of the best stories I ever heard was a guy I know who went to a Village People concert and ended up going home with the construction worker. Not A construction worker. THE construction worker.

Anyway, back to my friend. I found the story noteworthy not because of the homosexuality, but because, and again, I swear this is true, he gave it up because he was not actually attracted to, and didn’t enjoy having sex with, men. 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Get to Sleep

I have been known to suffer from insomnia from time to time. I have also had dreams in which I was lying in bed, unable to sleep, which I think is proof that my own brain is messing with me. Some have suggested that both of those things are just symptoms of me just needing to relax. They’re right, of course, but when one is complaining about their inability to sleep, telling them to relax doesn’t actually feel like help.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Get to Sleep

I have been known to suffer from insomnia from time to time. I have also had dreams in which I was lying in bed, unable to sleep, which I think is proof that my own brain is messing with me. Some have suggested that both of those things are just symptoms of me just needing to relax. They’re right, of course, but when one is complaining about their inability to sleep, telling them to relax doesn’t actually feel like help.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Console a Friend who is Having Marital Problems

My years in comedy gave me an abundance of experience in talking to guys whose marriages are in trouble. Here are some questions I’ve asked, which I suggest you avoid:

* So, is she sleeping with that guy, or what?

* Didn’t she know what she was getting into when she married you?

* Did she know I was in the room when you tried to have phone sex with her?

Note from Missy: my line in the first panel just made me laugh out loud. I love our dorky marriage where Scott can put horrible words I would never say in my mouth, and it just cracks me up.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Console a Friend who is Having Marital Problems

My years in comedy gave me an abundance of experience in talking to guys whose marriages are in trouble. Here are some questions I’ve asked, which I suggest you avoid:

* So, is she sleeping with that guy, or what?

* Didn’t she know what she was getting into when she married you?

* Did she know I was in the room when you tried to have phone sex with her?

Note from Missy: my line in the first panel just made me laugh out loud. I love our dorky marriage where Scott can put horrible words I would never say in my mouth, and it just cracks me up.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).