How to Get to Sleep

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I have been known to suffer from insomnia from time to time. I have also had dreams in which I was lying in bed, unable to sleep, which I think is proof that my own brain is messing with me. Some have suggested that both of those things are just symptoms of me just needing to relax. They’re right, of course, but when one is complaining about their inability to sleep, telling them to relax doesn’t actually feel like help.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Get to Sleep

in

I have been known to suffer from insomnia from time to time. I have also had dreams in which I was lying in bed, unable to sleep, which I think is proof that my own brain is messing with me. Some have suggested that both of those things are just symptoms of me just needing to relax. They’re right, of course, but when one is complaining about their inability to sleep, telling them to relax doesn’t actually feel like help.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Console a Friend who is Having Marital Problems

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My years in comedy gave me an abundance of experience in talking to guys whose marriages are in trouble. Here are some questions I’ve asked, which I suggest you avoid:

* So, is she sleeping with that guy, or what?

* Didn’t she know what she was getting into when she married you?

* Did she know I was in the room when you tried to have phone sex with her?

Note from Missy: my line in the first panel just made me laugh out loud. I love our dorky marriage where Scott can put horrible words I would never say in my mouth, and it just cracks me up.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Console a Friend who is Having Marital Problems

in

My years in comedy gave me an abundance of experience in talking to guys whose marriages are in trouble. Here are some questions I’ve asked, which I suggest you avoid:

* So, is she sleeping with that guy, or what?

* Didn’t she know what she was getting into when she married you?

* Did she know I was in the room when you tried to have phone sex with her?

Note from Missy: my line in the first panel just made me laugh out loud. I love our dorky marriage where Scott can put horrible words I would never say in my mouth, and it just cracks me up.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Engage in Banter

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You have to be very careful who you attempt to banter with. If you’re lucky a poorly thought out attempt at banter will just end with the other person looking hurt and walking away. It can go much worse. I once witnessed a married friend trying to recover from having said something that his wife had clearly not taken as a joke by saying, “It’s just repartee, baby!” It did not work.

Note from Missy: I think this is the first member of my old improv group, Jet City Improv, to appear in the comic. Ethan here currently goes under the name The Ginger Runner, and is a hell of a great guy.

Also, this banter is fairly tame compared to our actual banter back in the day. I don’t know that I can write our favorite greeting with Ethan, because it’s not terribly family-friendly.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

 

How to Engage in Banter

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You have to be very careful who you attempt to banter with. If you’re lucky a poorly thought out attempt at banter will just end with the other person looking hurt and walking away. It can go much worse. I once witnessed a married friend trying to recover from having said something that his wife had clearly not taken as a joke by saying, “It’s just repartee, baby!” It did not work.

Note from Missy: I think this is the first member of my old improv group, Jet City Improv, to appear in the comic. Ethan here currently goes under the name The Ginger Runner, and is a hell of a great guy.

Also, this banter is fairly tame compared to our actual banter back in the day. I don’t know that I can write our favorite greeting with Ethan, because it’s not terribly family-friendly.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

 

How to Wash a Cat

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This was many years ago. Missy and I have both come to the conclusion that there’s really no need to wash a cat. They do a good enough job on their own that it’s not worth the inherent risk of bodily harm to try to do it better.

I wonder if any soap company has ever tried to create some sort of synthetic cat spit to market as a shampoo or body wash. They’d make it smell like lilacs or something, I’m sure. And it would come with a surprisingly abrasive sponge mitt shaped like a tongue.

Note from Missy: The shouting conversation in panel 3 remains one of my favorites to this day. It’s just so very authentic.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Wash a Cat

in

This was many years ago. Missy and I have both come to the conclusion that there’s really no need to wash a cat. They do a good enough job on their own that it’s not worth the inherent risk of bodily harm to try to do it better.

I wonder if any soap company has ever tried to create some sort of synthetic cat spit to market as a shampoo or body wash. They’d make it smell like lilacs or something, I’m sure. And it would come with a surprisingly abrasive sponge mitt shaped like a tongue.

Note from Missy: The shouting conversation in panel 3 remains one of my favorites to this day. It’s just so very authentic.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).