Several quick (dorky) things

Today (April 30th) is 31¢ scoop night at Baskin-Robbins. From 5pm-10pm, you can get a single scoop cup or cone for 31¢! I suggest you do so.

 

My favorite show, The Venture Brothers" is starting its third season in June.  If you've never seen an episode, you have one month to get up to speed. Again, I suggest you do so.

 

If you've never seen the British TV series Torchwood, I suggest you not read the next two sentences, as they'll make little sense to you.  It seems statistically improbable that EVERY member of the staff of Torchwood Cardiff, all the way back to the beginning of time, would be bisexual. Am I to believe that it's some sort of coincidence, or does Captain Jack only want operatives whose minds are open to every option.

 

If you're not up to speed on Battlestar Galactica, then please stop reading now.

 

Okay, I warned you.

 

I have no urge to see Colonel Tigh naked, but part of me does hope to see his spine light up. What's that about!?

Poetry, Paper and Pause

Yes, this strip is based on a real situation, wherein my best friend took to posting his poetry online. I didn't have much respect for poetry at first, but I genuinely enjoy reading his work, only partially because he mentions me by name occasionally.

After I posted my wallpapers, I got a few requests for specific changes. I couldn't accommodate all of them, but I tried to kill as many birds as I could with the following three stones.

Logo on a plain background

1024 x 768

1152 x 864

1280 x 960

1600 x 1200

Logo on a black background

1024 x 768

1152 x 864

1280 x 960

1600 x 1200

High res wide screen

1024 x 768

Oh, and one more thing.  Here's the latest winner from the Meyer household game "Nice Freeze Frame."

The pre-dinner rolls were the wadding

If you follow the dialog in the second panel of today's strip to it's logical conclusion, and you know how a civil war canon worked, than you know that it is probably the most disgusting thing I've ever written.

At the request of a reader, I'm working on some downloadable wallpaper images. Aside from the "You will learn" logo, is there anything I've ever drawn you'd like to see on your desktop every morning? If so, please leave a comment.

To get your creative juices flowing, here's a poster I saw today that's so wrong it becomes right.

Sometime it's spooky being me.

It has been written, and lo, it has come to pass.

Town to town, up and down the dial

My parents were both farmers, from long lines of farmers before them. Neither of them are farmers anymore. It's a tough business that calls for a unique mixture of a nurturing spirit and utter ruthlessness. That ruthlessness was easier to come by back when the decision was "kill that adorable lamb or starve to death". Once the equation changed and the decision became "kill that adorable lamb or go to the store and buy one pre killed" many people who were not really cut out for farming started finding other work.

Today I taped an interview for a radio station in England called Kerrang!.  It was a lot of fun. I'll tell you when it's available. I used to do lots of radio interviews back when I was a stand-up. The clubs would make a deal with a local radio station. The club got some good advertising. The radio station got some fresh humorous content. The comics got to get up early.

The interviews were usually abysmal. My favorite was an early morning interview at a station in Pasco, Washington. I did interviews there several times and it was my favorite primarily because a local restaurant would deliver free breakfast for the Comics and the DJ in return for a plug. The result, predictably, was two sleepy comics and a hyper DJ trying to be funny while talking with their mouths full. It must've made for a gripping audio experience.

There are no original ideas, at least not here anyway.

A reader pointed this out to me.  I had been totally unaware of it, but it is awesome.

While I'm pointing out great ideas that I didn't think of first, you might want to check out this game.

I could have been named "Johnsonville"

I regret to admit that this strip is, indeed, taken from my real life.

Yes, my middle name is Oscar.

Yes, my last name is Meyer.

No, my parents don't have a great sense of humor.

No, my grandfather wasn't THE Oscar Mayer. The spelling should be your first clue.

I tried to hide it for many years, which was the absolute wrong move. As soon as you start hiding something, you give power to those who can un-hide it. As a result, the threat of "I'll tell them your middle name" became a favorite of those who would see me squirm, ... namely my family.

By the time I got to High School I was pretty much over it.  I realized that anyone who would judge me by something that stupid wasn't worth my time.  Conversely, I feel no compunction about judging other people by how they respond to finding out my middle name. There is no faster way to lose my respect than to start singing that insipid jingle.

Or that other insipid jingle.

Really, I'm pretty much against ANY insipid jingles.

In happier name-related news, one of my readers (One David Palmer) has suggested the perfect name for my axe throwing super hero.

"Peril-Axe"

The idea is that he'd have improved depth perception, adding to his accuracy with the axe. I've had much worse ideas than this.

Innate knowledge

My best friend through high school and college was very good at science.  Particularly physics.  I have always been keenly interested in science, but I'm bad at math, and I found the very concept of homework offensive.  I felt that it was an attempt on the teacher's  part to steal my free time, and I resented it.  As such, my academic career was not as stellar as his.  One day he picked up my entry level physics text book and thumbed through it.  He looked perplexed.  I asked him what was wrong.

He furrowed his brow at me, genuinely confused and said "I wasn't aware people had to be taught this stuff."

Why am I bringing this up?  Because that's exactly how I feel about little bits of basic stage-craft like the one in this week's strip.  I used to sit in the audience at open mic night and wonder "Why is he looking at his feet?"  "Why is he mumbling?"  "Why did he start the joke with the punch line?"

Failing to project was always especially mystifying to me, but then again I've always had a loud voice.

On the subject of jokes, I think all right-thinking people can agree that an April Fool's Day joke only counts if it is perpetrated ON APRIL FOOL'S DAY.  On the day before April first, or the day after, it goes down in the ledger as "Douchey behavior" and will be held against you when the revolution comes.