Suckage

I'm a firm believer in sucking down. Sucking sideways can also be an effective strategy. When I worked in an office I made it my goal to leave all of my coworkers with the false impression that they were receiving preferential treatment, which can be described as "sucking in all directions".

My technological issues are resolved. More than one reader pointed out that I never would have had this problem if I'd used pirated software or cracked the DRM. I cannot disagree with that statement.

I took notes of my call to tech support, just because I thought it might be enjoyable for you to skim through.

3:06 PM: I call the number I was given the day before. All circuits busy

3:08 PM: I call again and get through

3:14 PM: I get through the phone maze to a human being. The customer ID number I was given the day before does not show up in their system. They ask for my name, address, phone number, e-mail address and serial number. I explain the problem.

3:19 PM: This person decides he cannot help me and escalates me to the "Dedicated Team.

3:21 PM: I reach Natasha at the "Dedicated Team" and give her my name, address, phone number, e-mail address and serial number. I also give her my activation number, which doesn't work.

3:24 PM: Natasha puts me on hold.

3:26 PM: Natasha comes back on the line to ask me if I mind being on hold.

3:27 PM: Natasha tells me she cannot help me and escalates me to the "Technical Team". She gives me their direct number, which is the number I called that escalated me to Natasha.

3:31 PM: At the "Technical Team" I get a man with a thick, hard to understand accent. He immediately puts me on hold. 

3:40 PM: The man with the accent is named Alvin. Alvin asks for my name, address, phone number, e-mail address and serial number.

3:43 PM: It takes a long time to get the spelling of my e-mail address right.

3:49 PM: Alvin tells me to hold down the control key and shift, then left click twice. He asks me what happens. I say "nothing". He says "It didn't give you an activation number? I tell him. I already have an activation number. It's right here on the screen".

3:56 PM: He says my activation number is too long. I shut down Illustrator and open Photoshop. It's activation number is too long too.

4:01 PM: He gives me a code to enter. It doesn't work. He puts me on hold.

4:03 PM: He gives me a another code to enter. It doesn't work. He puts me on hold.

4:05 PM: Alvin comes on the line long enough to say "Gimme moment please", and I'm back on hold.

4:10 He comes back and asks for the serial number again. I have to give it to him three times because he keeps interrupting me mid number. He then gives me another code to enter, which works.

 

Huzzah!