Three Things

Thing one: There was a hiccup in service for basicinstructions.net last night. It has been resolved.

Thing two: It looks like Beverly will not be materializing for the person on my list who requested it. Oh well.

As many of you may know, I work at Disney World. There is a store at EPCOT that dispenses Coke products from around the world (It is currently called “Club Cool”). That is where my family learned of Beverly. It supposedly comes from Italy, but I’ve now heard from multiple Italians who have never heard of any such beverage. Maybe it’s no longer available, or only a niche product.

Some commented on my surprise that I have readers in Europe. No, I do not assume all internet users are Americans. I know people all over the world have computers. Indeed, here’s a quick snapshot from my web-stats page.

As you can see, I do better in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane than I do in most American cities, and my best city by far is London, which sends me so much traffic that you can’t see England behind it. I simply am amazed by the idea that there are people sitting in front of their computers in Europe, or any continent other than North America, reading Basic Instructions. It makes me feel insanely lucky. That’s all I was trying to say.

Thing three: The general consensus is that nobody noticed the edited strip when I ran it, but most people preferred the unedited version when they saw it. What I’m taking from this is that there is room for me to edit the narration more than I do now, but that people do get something out of the extra exposition.

It might seem odd for me to be asking the reader’s opinions as often as I do, but my goal is not just to make a comic strip. It’s to make a comic strip people will enjoy. If I got satisfaction out of just drawing a strip for myself, I wouldn’t bother to publish the thing. The deadlines would be much easier to manage.

A note to my readers in Europe

It amazes me that I have any readers in Europe, but if my webstats can be trusted, I do.

Anyhoo, if any of you have easy access to a carbonated beverage called "Beverly," please drop me a line at basicinst@gmail.com.

I did that! I did that! That was my fault!

Well, what can I say? Mistakes were made… by me.

I should have named the posting something less confusing. I shouldn’t have been so vague about what might have been different about the strip in question. Most egregiously, I shouldn’t have assumed that just because my web browser displayed links with an underscore that other browsers did so as well.

The strip in question was "How to Counter the Old "There's Something On Your Shirt". The thing that was different was not that I repeated art work. I do that all the time. It was not that the jacket was buttoned. I wouldn’t have wasted your time with something like that. It also was not that some of the art extends beyond the panel borders.

The difference was in the text.

I haven’t posted about syndication in awhile, but that doesn’t mean nothing has been going on. I’ve been in contact with a representative from a syndicate, a very nice woman with impeccable credentials. She suggested a means of editing my text that greatly reduced my wordiness, and when I tried it, I found that the strip still worked. She showed it to her colleagues, and they agreed that it worked. The last step, in my opinion, was to see what you all thought.

I posted an edited version of a new strip to my site unannounced, and nobody mentioned the change. I took that as a good sign, but I that didn’t mean nobody noticed the change, just that they hadn’t said anything. So, that’s the “anything unusual” I was referring to. I wanted to see if anyone noticed the change. That’s all.

Many people have expressed the concern that I might turn my strip into something that sucks in exchange for a chance at “the big time.” I do not want to be responsible for making crap, and this fiasco was part of my effort to prevent it from happening.

For the record, this editing method working does not mean that I’ll get syndicated. It just means that I may have found a way to make the strip slightly more accessible. On Sunday I’ll post the original version of the strip.

Thanks for your time.

A line is crossed

Unless there's something else I'm not able to remember at the moment, the fourth panel of this strip is the first time I've re purposed a joke from my old stand-Up act for use in a comic.

I've just always liked that joke.

On an unrelated note, did anyone notice anything unusual about this strip?

Art Imitating Life

This strip was inspired by a guy I work with who points at my shirt ALMOST EVERY DAY, trying to get me to look. I've never looked. That's what drives him on. My shirt has become his white whale.

All of the humor is drained out of it now, not that there was ever much humor in it to begin with. Every day he comes up, pokes me in the chest and says "you've got something on your shirt."

I look him in the eye and say, "I respect you a little less every time you say that." Then we both laugh a slow, mirthless laugh.

Sometimes, as he slinks away, he tells me my shoe-laces are untied. Jokes aren't supposed to make you sad.

A little more news

So, Basic Instructions has been nominated for "Best Comic Strip" in the 2007 Weblog Awards. You can vote here, if you like.

I'm currently somewhere toward the back of the pack, but frankly I'm stunned just to see my strip listed with some of those other nominees.

In Honor of Ace of Cakes

I recently described the show Ace of Cakes in a strip. This got me to thinking about cakes in general, which reminded me of a story from a former job of mine.

I had a day job as an office manager for the Seattle office of an international firm. We found out that one of our employees was transferring to one of our offices in China. When one of our people would leave, we usually had a little wing-ding with drinks and cake on the departing employee's last Thursday in the office, so on Tuesday it fell to me to fax a cake order into our nearest Costco Bakery.

I should point out that on that day I had a headache so bad that it hurt to move my eyes. Ordering the cake was the last thing I did before I went home sick for the afternoon. As I filled out the order form, I realized that in addition to the personalized message ("Good Luck in China," in this case) we could also get a large decoration for no extra charge. I looked at the options and none of them were appropriate. They were all things like teddy bears, balloons, or race cars. Crap, in other words. I figured if none of them were appropriate, I might as well get something that made no sense whatsoever.

I put a check mark next to the word "Fireman."

The next morning (Wednesday), lying in bed just before getting up, my mind wandered over the previous day and all the things I had accomplished. My eyes snapped open as I thought, "What did I do!? Why did I order a fireman? That makes no sense!!! I'm going to look like an idiot!"

I went to work, intent on calling the Costco as soon as they opened and stopping the cake before it started. I still had a day before I was supposed to pick it up. I figured that should be plenty of time. After some effort, I got hold of the bakery manager, only to be told that the cake had already been made. It was too late. I figured I'd just have to stand up straight and take it like a man.

My wife and I went to Costco to pick up the cake. When I got to the bakery, this is what was waiting for me.

Making the hose flesh-toned had been a very bad move.

At first all I could do was blink at it and wonder, "Am I the only one who sees a giant wang?" I looked at my wife. She was blinking at the cake. An awkward silence and a few stammered sentences later we established that we both saw the same thing. A fireman holding an immense, dripping wang.

I could not serve this cake to my coworkers.

My first thought was that I would just absorb the cost of a second cake and pretend this never happened. Then I thought, "Wait a minute! This is not an erotic bakery! This is Costco! I should be able to order any stupid cake I want and be confident that it will not be sexually charged."

While at the checkout line I found a Costco employee to complain to, and showed him the cake. He blinked at it. I told him I was uncomfortable serving this cake at a place of business, and he started laughing and looking relieved.

Here’s what I came to realize about the cake. The obscene image was just obvious enough that you can't help but recognize it, but also obviously innocent enough that you don't want to say anything for fear that you're the only one who sees it.

Soon I was surrounded by several Costco employees who were looking at the cake and laughing. They explained that they had a new cake decorator who was a deeply religious woman from a foreign country, as if that explained everything. At one point while we were hammering out a settlement a woman happened by, caught a glimpse of the cake, covered her mouth and gasped. Good stuff.