Why hurt Frakes?

This strip was based on actual events. No, I did not inflict a sci-fi museum on my mother, but I did recently drag her around four theme parks. She enjoyed Soarin’, but refused to ride the Tower of Terror. She was terrified, so I guess it did its job. I told her that I work there, but that didn’t make her think it was any safer for some reason.

But on to the question at hand: why pick on Jonathan Frakes? Do I dislike Mr. Frakes? Did he hurt me somehow? What’s my beef with Frakes?

I have nothing against him. I liked him on Star Trek: the Next Generation. I think one of the Trek movies he directed (First Contact) is the second best Trek movie they ever made (Wrath of Khan was the best). For many years my hair and beard were very similar to his in the last few years of Next Gen. Heck, I even know who David Xanatos is. I am a fan of Frakes.

So why insult him in the last panel of the strip? Well, I constructed the joke in such a way that I needed a real person (a man, specifically) to insult. I needed someone in the science fiction field, and I wanted the majority of readers to be able to picture him. That meant Star Wars or Star Trek. Think of the male actors from the Star Wars films, and ask yourself, who’d be recognizable and funny to pose with? That list begins and ends with Billy Dee Williams. Think about the men who have been on Star Trek though, and you come up with at least six names without breaking a sweat.

That made it a process of elimination. Shatner and Nimoy? Too obvious. DeForest Kelly and James Doohan? They’re dead, so that’s too depressing. George Takei? I didn’t want to run the risk of this looking like a gay joke of any kind. Walter Koenig? Too obscure. Say Chekov and people know exactly who you mean, but Koenig’s just a difficult name to remember for some reason. It’s a shame. He never gets the respect he deserves. The same goes for almost every other male who’s been on the shows. Brooks, Beltran, Wang, all of ’em. The joke’s no good if I have to explain who they are.

That left me with two names: Scott Bakula and Jonathan Frakes. Both have funny sounding last names, so that’s no help. In the end I chose Frakes because I get the impression that he can see what’s funny about himself. He “gets it”. Bakula might “get it”. He probably does. I’ve just seen no evidence of it.

No, I didn’t forget Patrick Stewart. My mom would leap at the chance to get her picture taken with a wax Patrick Stewart, which I don’t find funny at all.