How to Make Someone Grateful for the Sci-fi Movies Hollywood Is Making Today

For those who haven’t seen Soylent Green, (SPOILER ALERT) it’s a mystery story that takes place in a distant future where overcrowding and environmental problems have led to people mainly subsisting on a green protein cracker called Soylent Green. In the end, the hero discovers that the crackers are made out of people. It’s about as cheery and uplifting as most early-seventies science fiction got. There’s a reason Steven Spielberg and George Lucas took the world by storm.

I’m kinda surprised nobody has remade Soylent Green. I could see it a s a Bruce Willis vehicle. They’d probably give it a happy ending, with Bruce eating a cracker made out of the bad guy.

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How to Make Someone Grateful for the Sci-fi Movies Hollywood Is Making Today

For those who haven’t seen Soylent Green, (SPOILER ALERT) it’s a mystery story that takes place in a distant future where overcrowding and environmental problems have led to people mainly subsisting on a green protein cracker called Soylent Green. In the end, the hero discovers that the crackers are made out of people. It’s about as cheery and uplifting as most early-seventies science fiction got. There’s a reason Steven Spielberg and George Lucas took the world by storm.

I’m kinda surprised nobody has remade Soylent Green. I could see it a s a Bruce Willis vehicle. They’d probably give it a happy ending, with Bruce eating a cracker made out of the bad guy.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Accept Help That Isn't Actually Helpful

We’ve all worked with that person who presents everything you do as a mistake and everything they do as a tremendous success. I’ve found that over time the rest of the staff tends to avoid that person, a fact the person usually considers to be a mistake on everyone else’s part, or an unfortunate side-effect of their tremendous success.

Note from Missy: This comic fills me with rage, because I’ve worked with that person in many a job. Side note: I feel like if this strip had been written a couple of years later, it’d definitely be Jenkins being the total work jerk, instead of Earth Mother here. I don’t think he’d fully grown into his true Jenkinsness at this point.

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How to Accept Help That Isn't Actually Helpful

We’ve all worked with that person who presents everything you do as a mistake and everything they do as a tremendous success. I’ve found that over time the rest of the staff tends to avoid that person, a fact the person usually considers to be a mistake on everyone else’s part, or an unfortunate side-effect of their tremendous success.

Note from Missy: This comic fills me with rage, because I’ve worked with that person in many a job. Side note: I feel like if this strip had been written a couple of years later, it’d definitely be Jenkins being the total work jerk, instead of Earth Mother here. I don’t think he’d fully grown into his true Jenkinsness at this point.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Insult Someone Without Offending Them

The phrase “with all due respect” has always cracked me up. We use it to soften the blow when we’re about to criticize someone, but when you really think about it, it makes an insult that much more cutting. You’re basically prefacing your insult with “You’re not going to like what I’m going to say, but please understand, you totally deserve it.”

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How to Insult Someone Without Offending Them

The phrase “with all due respect” has always cracked me up. We use it to soften the blow when we’re about to criticize someone, but when you really think about it, it makes an insult that much more cutting. You’re basically prefacing your insult with “You’re not going to like what I’m going to say, but please understand, you totally deserve it.”

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Talk Behind Someone's Back

Once, a long, long time ago, I got into a fight with one of my older brother’s friends. I won’t get into the reasons. I was 14, he was 17, none of us handled the situation particularly well. My brother ended up taking his friend’s side and there was quite a bit of yelling.

Later that evening, when things had cooled down a bit, my brother (who I remind you, was 17 at the time, an age at which most of us say a lot of stupid things) told me, “I don’t like your friends either, but at least I have the guts to insult them when they’re not around.”

The guy I’d been arguing with and I looked at each other, then started laughing so hard that any ill will left from our argument completely dissipated.

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How to Talk Behind Someone's Back

Once, a long, long time ago, I got into a fight with one of my older brother’s friends. I won’t get into the reasons. I was 14, he was 17, none of us handled the situation particularly well. My brother ended up taking his friend’s side and there was quite a bit of yelling.

Later that evening, when things had cooled down a bit, my brother (who I remind you, was 17 at the time, an age at which most of us say a lot of stupid things) told me, “I don’t like your friends either, but at least I have the guts to insult them when they’re not around.”

The guy I’d been arguing with and I looked at each other, then started laughing so hard that any ill will left from our argument completely dissipated.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Mind Your Manners

I’ve always found the idea of denouncing Yale graduates as uncouth barbarians to be hilarious. It’s probably a side-effect of the fact that the first sitcom I remember enjoying as a child was Gilligan’s Island. That also explains my love of sword canes. Obviously, Thurston Howell III was my favorite character, which only made it more hurtful when my father bought me a white bucket hat and started calling me Gilligan.

Note from Missy: I’m one of those wrong-hand food-cutters. I’ve never understood the whole deal with switching your knife to your fork hand to cut, then switching back to eat. So I roll with fork in the right hand, knife in the left, and anyone who has a problem with it can go suck an egg.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Mind Your Manners

I’ve always found the idea of denouncing Yale graduates as uncouth barbarians to be hilarious. It’s probably a side-effect of the fact that the first sitcom I remember enjoying as a child was Gilligan’s Island. That also explains my love of sword canes. Obviously, Thurston Howell III was my favorite character, which only made it more hurtful when my father bought me a white bucket hat and started calling me Gilligan.

Note from Missy: I’m one of those wrong-hand food-cutters. I’ve never understood the whole deal with switching your knife to your fork hand to cut, then switching back to eat. So I roll with fork in the right hand, knife in the left, and anyone who has a problem with it can go suck an egg.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).